


Poisoned Apples

by RipperShipper



Category: Castle
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2017-11-27 14:15:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/662934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RipperShipper/pseuds/RipperShipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castle faces his worst fears when DNA comes back from an elusive serial killer...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Summary: Castle faces his worst fears when genetics come back from an elusive serial killer. Post-Always.
> 
> Author's Note: This takes place approximately six months after Always, assuming that Kate goes back to the 12th, Esposito and Ryan make amends, and Esposito and Lanie get back together (the details of these will be explored as the story goes on). Just so you know, this has NOTHING to do with Johanna Beckett. Like, diddly squat.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership to these awesome characters.

Detective Kate Beckett paced back and forth across the morgue, huffing her breath in loud sighs every time she looked up and the M.E. was still working.

"Will you stop that?" Dr. Lanie Parish snapped. She loved her best friend, she really did, but an impatient Kate was one of the most intolerable things she'd ever seen.

"Will you hurry up?" Beckett countered. She needed these results. They'd been chasing the sterile serial killer for nearly two months now without a solid lead. The guy was good. Six crime scenes and they hadn't found a single fingerprint or stray hair. This last one was different though, she could feel it. The minute Beckett walked into the seventh crime scene, she knew this victim was special. He hadn't been as careful with this one, he'd been…loving? The expected staleness of the previous scenes was still there, but the victim, Sally Dryker, was laid out on her couch with a pillow under her head; a far cry from the stiff corpses they'd learned to expect on sterilized dining tables. Most importantly, he'd left something behind. Lanie was currently analyzing the tiny sample of DNA they'd found between her breasts from a stray drop of sweat.

He messed up. He got sentimental. Beckett was beaming. That is, she was beaming until she'd found out that a DNA sample that small took ages to analyze without being compromised. Lanie said it would take about a week. It had been a week. Exactly one week, and Beckett wanted her killer.

"Girl, will you calm down, you know I can't rush this!" Lanie said in response to Kate's snippy attitude.

"I'm sorry, Lanie." Kate apologized. She really was sorry. "It's just, you know how badly I want this guy."

"Of course I do, Kate, we all want this guy." Lanie said, "But leering over me isn't going to make this process any faster and I'd really like it if you went back upstairs and waited for me to call you." Lanie didn't want to be mean, but she knew in the long run that Kate would be much happier if she could get her mind off the damn DNA sample. "It's almost 1:00. Why don't you let writer-boy go buy you lunch…?" She suggested with a grin.

"He's out with Alexis today." Kate said. "She needed a father-daughter lunch." She smiled in spite of herself. They'd been together for six months, but she still couldn't quell her undeniable glee at the thought of Richard Castle. Damn him.

"You two are still gross, you know that?" Lanie teased at Kate's glow.

"Shuuut uuuup." Kate blushed.

"Okay, fine, how 'bout this," Lanie asked. "I'll stop teasing you and I'll have your DNA results by the end of the day if you get out of my lab." She emphasized with a slight grin.

Kate sighed. She knew when she was beaten, and she really was hungry come to think of it.

"Fine." She huffed. "I'll guess I'll just have to take Javi out for lunch since you're not going anywhere…OW!" Kate ran out the door before Lanie could find something else to throw.

***

"Alright, food's here." Ryan announced as he walked back into the bullpen. "Anything new?"

"Nada, bro." Esposito replied as he grabbed the French fry bag from his partner. Kate glared and stole the ketchup in retaliation.

"Seriously?" Ryan asked. "We've been stuck for three days."

"I know, but there's nothing we can do right now." Kate said. "All the evidence from the last crime scene is either useless or still being processed, and Lanie said we couldn't have DNA until the end of the day." Kate felt the frustration creeping back into her voice and took a giant gulp of her chocolate shake.

"We must've missed something." Ryan continued. "He finally gives us a new layout to work with and there's really nothing to go on?" Kate and Esposito looked to him with exhausted eyes. "What about Sally Dryker's background?" He asked. "Did anything pop?" Ryan took his burger back from Esposito, but not before the sneaky detective carved a rather sizable bite into the side.

"Nfofsthing ssdo fashr." Esposito mumbled around his food.

"Esposito…" Kate warned. She was really not in the mood right now.

"Sorry." He said. "Nothing so far." He repeated more clearly. "She's not in the system for anything and as far as I can tell, she has no direct link to any of the other victims. No familial, friendly, or financial connections."

Kate opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by the soothingly smug voice of her boyfriend.

"Ooh…" Castle smiled as he entered with Alexis. "Do I smell a stalemate?"

"You know, it's been four years," Kate said, "you'd think murder would stop making you so giddy."

"Nope!" Castle responded cheerfully. "Gives me an excuse to steal your French fries." Kate lunged for the bag, but Castle was quicker and made his way to the murder board, munching on her coveted snack. Alexis sent a sympathetic, knowing smile her way and moved in to give the Detective a hug. Kate smiled. Things had been rocky between her and Castle's daughter six months ago, but over time, she'd developed a wonderful older-sister bond with the girl that she cherished.

Kate broke the embrace, turned back towards her team, and sighed. Esposito was now heartily taking advantage of Ryan's burger while the other Detective was playing roe sham boe her boyfriend for her fries.

"How do you have the highest closing rate in the city again?" Alexis asked with a smirk.

"No thanks to them." Kate replied, "That's for sure." She straightened up and walked towards the murder board.

"Guys." She tried to grab their attention. "Guys?" The ignored her. "GUYS!" She shouted.

Castle dropped the fry he was holding over Ryan's head and Esposito stopped mid-chew, his chipmunk expression making it hard for Kate to stay serious. Murder was murder though, and just because post-Castle Kate was far more open to fun didn't mean she was okay with it while they were trying to catch a serial killer.

"Sorry." Ryan murmured. "We're working."

"Thank you." Kate said. She did understand. They were drowning in this one. Seven people were dead and they were no closer to finding their killer than when they got the first call. None of them had gotten much time with their significant others since it started, and with two relatively new relationships and one pair of newly weds, they were all going a bit insane. Luckily for Kate, Castle was still his diligent self and she could always count on him for morning coffee and lunchtime foolery.

Alexis cleared her throat softly before hugging her dad goodbye and heading down to the morgue. She knew the case was getting to him too, and now that they were back at the precinct, she knew it was time to get back to work.

"Bye, sweetie." Castle called out. He waited a few moments for the elevator doors to close, then turned back to Kate with a somber expression. "How's it going?"

"Awful." She answered honestly. "We're still at square one."

Castle reached over to give her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm sorry about before." He said. "I just feel bad that I can't think of anything, and well, you know my coping mechanisms…"

Kate smiled and squeezed his hand back.

"It's okay." She replied. "You've been great about giving me space, the least I can do is not begrudge you a couple morbid jokes."

Ryan and Esposito grinned at their colleagues' PDA, but kept their mouths shut. They were secretly thrilled that their boss was finally opening up and they weren't about to do anything to jeopardize that.

The group sat for a minute, staring at the evidence, convinced that if they sat there long enough, something was bound to make sense. After a while, Kate's phone buzzed and all four of them jumped up, hoping against hope that they had a lead. Kate opened her phone to a text from Lanie.

**Have results. 911. Leave Castle there.**

Kate's brow furrowed from confusion and concern.

"Um, I'm gonna run down to the morgue real quick." Kate said. "I'll be back in a few."

"We got a lead?" Esposito asked.

Kate paused before deciding to lie. Lanie wouldn't text her that unless it was absolutely necessary.

"Uh, no, just a girl problem." Kate rattled off. "Don't worry, Castle, you can stay here with the boys." Somehow she managed to smile reassuringly at him before speed walking to the elevator and texting Lanie back.

**On my way. - Beckett**

Kate tapped her foot impatiently as the elevator descended to the morgue. They had someone. Lanie wouldn't text her a '911' unless she found a match, but why leave Castle out of it?

The elevator dinged and Kate practically ran down the hall. When she turned the corner, though, the sight of a crying Alexis made her screech to a stop.

"Alexis?" Kate asked concerned. What the hell is going on? "What's wrong?"

Alexis stayed silent, her eyes wide, her hands shaking.

"What happened?" Kate asked more forcefully.

Alexis' response was so quiet that Kate had to strain to hear it, but she heard "talk to Lanie" garbled into more tear-covered speech.

Kate didn't even bother trying to reassure Alexis before barging through the doors. Alexis was crying and Castle was being kept in the dark, what on earth was going on?

"Lanie, what the hell?" Kate more demanded than asked.

"Kate, you better sit down." Lanie deadpanned.

Kate choked on her impending tirade. Lanie never told anyone to sit down. Even when they were dealing with Royce, Lanie never told her to step back, or wait a minute, or take a breath. This was serious. Slowly, Kate listened and sat down to brace herself for the identity of their killer.

"You know who he is?" She asked.

"We got a match." Lanie replied. "But you're not gonna like it."

The M.E. walked over to her computer.

"You know that everyone who works for the NYPD is printed and has their DNA placed in the system…" Lanie explained, even though Kate obviously knew this. "I ran the sample from the scene and got two matches." Kate raised her eyebrows.

"Two?"

Lanie took a deep breath.

"One at 50% accuracy for Richard Castle and one at 25% accuracy for Alexis Castle."

Lanie felt tears brimming at the heart broken look on her best friend's face.

"Kate, it's his dad. It's Castle's dad."


	2. Chapter 2

Poisoned Apples Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Not mine. Marlowe's babies. He can take good care of them. :D  
A/N: So I've recently come back to this story, so I'll be uploading the most recent 11 chapters and then going from there. :)

PREVIOUSLY:

“It’s his dad, Kate. It’s Castle’s dad.” 

***********************************************

CHAPTER 2:

Kate Beckett knew exactly what it felt like to have the world come crashing down around you; to be faced with something so horrible that the only thing to do is to sit and stare at a blank wall until the earth finds its axis again. She knew how easy it was to slip so far down the dark path of obsession that you couldn’t see the light anymore. She knew it, she feared it, and until now, she never thought she’d fear anything else. She was wrong. The idea of helplessly watching the people she loved go through their own personal hell was more terrifying than any thought she’d ever had about her mother’s case. 

“Lanie,” she spoke quietly, “are you sure?” She knew the answer, but she needed to ask. She needed to hear the M.E. tell her that this was really happening before she broke the news to Castle and sent him spiraling.

Lanie understood, and for once didn’t chide Kate for questioning her. 

“I’m positive.” She replied. “I’m so sorry sweetie, I wish I was wrong.” 

They sat in silence, staring at the computer as if the program was to blame for this horrible betrayal. 

“Alexis?” Kate asked, remembering the sobbing girl. She saw a flash of regret in Lanie’s eyes.

“It was an accident.” Lanie said. “The program has an alarm when it has a match. My hands were dirty, I asked Alexis to check it...I didn’t know…” 

“It’s not your fault.” Kate said, the strength in her voice slowly returning. 

“She ran out of here screaming.” Lanie rasped. “I’ve never seen her so scared, not even during the bombing case.” 

Kate fought back the quick flash of pain from the memories of said case and forced herself to be analytical Beckett instead of sentimental Kate. Alexis was a mess, she needed to get her home. Lanie needed to tell the boys about the match so that they could move forward with the case. Castle…shit she needed to tell Castle…

“Lanie, can you hold off telling the boys until I can get Rick and Alexis home?” Kate asked. Lanie knew her well enough to not comment on her suddenly professional tone. Breakdowns were unacceptable in Beckett’s life until they were manageable, and there was no space for a breakdown that minute. 

“Yeah, of course.” Lanie replied. “I’ll go back through the earlier crime scenes. Maybe we missed something.” Kate smiled sadly in thanks. Lanie knew the evidence backwards and forwards by now, but Kate understood the need to dive into work when real life became too overwhelming. 

“Thank you, Lanie.” The two shared a glance as Kate headed back out to Alexis. Her resolve crumbled at the picture before her. Having cried herself out, Alexis’ piercing blue eyes now stared blankly in front of her as overwhelming sadness gave way to empty disbelief. 

Kate knelt gently by her side, careful not to touch her. If Alexis was anything like Kate, she wouldn’t notice the touch anyway, but Kate didn’t want to risk spooking her. 

“Hey Alexis.” Kate spoke. “You don’t have to say anything, but I’m taking you and your dad home now. Can you wait here while I go get him?” Under any other circumstances, the red head would’ve bitten back at how condescending Kate was being, but she didn’t even notice. She barely registered that words were heading in her general direction. Kate was there though, and that was a little better. Except, now Kate was getting up? 

Alexis gasped and shot her arm out on a reflex to grab Kate’s wrist as she stood. She couldn’t be alone right now. She wasn’t even sure she understood why, but she couldn’t do it. The ticking of the clock in the hallway, the shuffle of feet above her, the creak of the elevator door, it was all too much. She couldn’t be alone with such sounds of…normality. 

Kate nodded silently and helped Alexis to her feet as she swung the girl’s workbag over her shoulder. The two walked side-by-side, lost in thought to the elevator, one still unsure of what to say to the man on the other end and one too numb to care. 

***

“Alexis, god, are you okay?” Castle ran over to his daughter and girlfriend almost as soon as they stepped onto the homicide floor. His perch on Kate’s desk offered him an unhindered view of the elevator, and it took him about two seconds to realize that his family looked like hell. 

“She’ll be fine, Rick.” Kate assured with out a shred of conviction. 

“What happened?” He asked. 

“Rick,” 

“What happened?” He cut Kate off. She needed to get him back to the loft. He wasn’t going to settle for anything but the truth while his daughter was paling by the second and she just couldn’t deal with that here. 

“Come home with us, and I’ll explain everything.” She said simply. 

“Kate…” 

“Castle,” she cut him off a little harsher than she’d intended, “I promise.” She said softer. 

Between his writer’s imagination and his fatherly fears, Castle’s head was filling with worst-case scenarios, but he conceded. 

“Alright, let’s go.” 

***

Kate sat at the kitchen counter, mindlessly nursing a glass of wine. Castle was upstairs with Alexis, no doubt trying to get her to talk. He’d be down soon though. Nearly half an hour had passed since they retreated and by now it was either time to give up and come badger Kate for information or scream at her for not telling him sooner. 

“Okay, Beckett, what the hell is going on?” Rick’s voice shattered her quiet bubble of thought as he stormed down the stairs. Alexis clearly hadn’t talked and now he was furious with worry. 

“Rick, sit down.” Kate said.

“No, don’t talk to me like one of your victims, Kate!” He spat back. “My daughter is traumatized, no one will tell me what’s going on, and you’re pitying me like I’m about to break.” 

He charged over to her, pulled the wine from her hands and forced her to look at him. She hadn’t even noticed that she’d averted her eyes earlier. 

“Whatever this is, you promised me, six months ago, that we wouldn’t keep secrets from each other.” She still didn’t respond. “Kate, please. The last time we tried to protect each other in silence, it nearly destroyed us.” 

“Rick,” she finally whispered. “Sit down.” 

They were the same words, but this time he listened. This time, they weren’t condescending, they were pleading. They weren’t for his sake; they were for hers. Whatever she had to say, she couldn’t do it unless he was calm. Castle sat down on the stool next to Kate’s and waited as she took another sip of wine. 

Kate knew she was stalling, but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t do this. There was no way. How were you supposed to tell someone that the parent they never knew was a killer? How were you supposed to tell the person you loved, the person you one day wanted a family with, that you needed their help to hunt down their own blood? Kate told families awful news everyday, but this was different. She almost wished someone was dead. At least with death, there was finality. The grieving process might be long, or even never-ending, but at the end of the day, there was nothing you could do to change what happened. Castle’s father was a serial killer, and the toll that that information could take was unthinkable. How could she do this to him? 

“Kate.” She felt a hand rest gently on her thigh and she looked up. He was right. She promised him no secrets, and she meant to keep that promise. She took a deep breath and savored the compassion in his touch before she opened her mouth and risked losing it all. 

“Lanie got a match from the DNA at the Dryker scene.” 

Rick looked confused. 

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?” He asked. “I mean, now we have somewhere to go?”

Kate felt tears threatening behind her eyes. Shit, she couldn’t do this. 

“It’s not a 100% match.” She struggled to continue. “There were two matches, actually. One 50% and one 25%.” 

“What does that mean?” He asked. 

“It means the DNA matched the child…and the grandchild…of the killer.” She wasn’t going to hold it together for much longer. “Rick, it’s you and Alexis.” She lost it at his blank expression. 

“Kate, what are you talking about?” Rick asked, understanding creeping its way past his blanket of disbelief. 

“Your father, Rick.” Kate sobbed. “I’m so sorry.” Kate reached for Castle’s hand, but he recoiled at her touch.

“You’re wrong.” 

“Rick?” 

“I said you’re wrong!” He shouted. Kate’s eyes widened. She could count the number of times he’d been this angry on one hand. 

“Rick, please.” Kate pleaded. 

“Tell Lanie to run it again.” He demanded. When Kate didn’t move from her spot, Rick grabbed her phone and shoved it at her. “Tell. Her. Again.” He was caving. She could see it in his eyes. 

Kate gently took her phone from him and reached up to wipe a stray tear from his cheek. 

He crumbled. 

“It’s okay.” She whispered as she held him. “It’s gonna be okay.” 

From the way he cried harder at her words, she knew he didn’t believe her. She wasn’t even sure if she believed herself. They could do this though, right? They were strong enough to get through this. They had to be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading!! <3 <3 <3

Poisoned Apples Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Still not mine. :( 

***************************

Detectives Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito sat dejectedly in the morgue, staring in disbelieving wonder at Lanie Parish’s computer. 

“I’m so sorry, guys.” She said. “I checked it again, there’s no mistake.” 

“Does Castle know?” Ryan asked. 

“I don’t know.” Lanie replied. The boys looked up at her questioningly. “Kate said she wanted to tell him herself. She hasn’t called since they went home.” She paused. “Little Castle knows, though. She saw the results before I did.” 

“Damn.” Ryan whispered more to himself than to Lanie, but he knew she shared his sentiments. 

Esposito stayed quiet through their exchange. It wasn’t fair. They were just moving past solving Johanna Beckett’s murder, Kate was finally getting her life back, Castle was finally happy, and now this? Why couldn’t the universe cut them a break? They brought down the Senator only two months ago. Was that really all they got before everything went to hell again? Two months? There had to be another explanation. Castle’s father couldn’t be their killer. They must’ve missed something. 

“Isn’t it possible that he’s got nothing to do with the murders?” He finally asked. Ryan and Lanie looked at him with blank stares. “I mean, what if he found the body, but didn’t want anyone to know he was there? We’ve seen that happen all the time.” 

“Javi,” 

“No, don’t you get it? It wasn’t him. There’s no way. I mean, this is Castle’s dad. Castle. Do you guys really think anyone in his family could do something like this?” 

“No, I don’t.” Lanie replied. “But a biological relationship doesn’t make someone family, we see that happen all the time as well. Look, I’m not saying it’s impossible that he’s innocent, but we have seven bodies with no connections and one DNA sample. The odds are stacked,” 

“Did you find another sample to compare it to?” Ryan asked. 

“What?” Lanie replied. 

“From the other scenes.” He clarified. “If we can put him at more than one of the scenes, we can make a stronger assumption.” 

“Yeah, but we went through all of the other scenes.” Esposito said. “CSU didn’t find any DNA at the other scenes.”   
“The victims…” Lanie thought out loud. Ryan and Esposito looked up at her expectantly. “We didn’t run the victims’ DNA through the system because we assumed it didn’t matter.” 

“It doesn’t,” Ryan continued. “we already know who they are.” 

“Yeah, but…just hear me out, okay?” Lanie was frantically trying to assemble the samples from the previous scenes. “We found Castle’s dad because of the match to Castle and Alexis, but not the guy himself. What if that’s the connection?”

“Huh?” Esposito asked. 

“What if this guy is genetically linked to our other victims, but we didn’t know it,” 

“Because they weren’t in the system like Castle…” Ryan finished. “Lanie, that’s brilliant!” 

“How long until we can find out?” Esposito asked with a smile, excited at even the possibility of a new lead. 

“It’ll take a couple of days with so many samples, but I can start right now and probably have two by the end of the day.” Lanie said. 

“Should we call Beckett?” Ryan asked. 

Lanie’s determined grin faded. 

“I don’t know.” She sighed. “Alexis was a mess earlier and Castle’s gonna be even worse.” 

Esposito cringed at his next thought. 

“Do you think she told Martha yet?” he asked hesitatingly. 

“Oh god, I don’t know.” Lanie replied. “She knew this guy.” 

“Let’s track her down,” Esposito said, “Castle’s not gonna let Beckett out of his sight once he knows and he shouldn’t be the one to tell her. They’ve got enough to talk about as it is.” 

“I’ll call as soon as I have anything!” Lanie shouted as the boys ran out the door. 

***

The apartment was silent when Alexis finally ventured downstairs, thirsty and too exhausted to worry about running into her dad. The stairs sounded like thunder as she descended. She hated how crying heightened her senses – it felt like the world was punishing her for giving in to her tears. 

She stepped quietly into the dark kitchen. Her dad and Beckett must’ve relocated after the shouting match. She silently hoped they relocated together; she really didn’t want her dad to be alone right now. Pulling the fridge open, the young girl startled as the electronic light revealed two figures huddled together on the floor. 

“Kate?” Alexis whispered. 

Kate blinked away the fading remnants of sleep at the sound of her name. Her entire body ached, where was she? Coming further into reality, Kate looked around and realized they must have cried themselves to sleep on the kitchen floor. Her necked cracked as she looked down at her lap; a sleeping Richard Castle nestled into her thigh. As awful as it sounded, Kate couldn’t help but breath a sigh of relief that he was relaxing – even if he had to make himself more vulnerable than she’d ever seen him in order to get there. 

“Alexis?” Kate seemed to finally register the redhead standing in the glow of the fridge. 

“Is he okay?” Alexis asked shakily. 

Kate sighed and debated whether to give the motherly answer or the truthful answer. Seeing the fire slightly returned to Alexis’ eyes, she decided on the latter. 

“Not really.” She admitted. “I’m sorry about the yelling.” 

“It’s okay.” Said Alexis. Kate arched her eyebrows. “No, really.” Alexis continued. “I’m actually kind of glad he didn’t shut down.” 

“Does he usually?” Kate was genuinely surprised. In the four years she’d known Castle, she’d always been the one to shy away and hide from her problems. 

“Yeah.” Said Alexis as she sat down across from the couple. “Mostly in his office. I don’t think he ever told you, but whenever you guys had a hard case, we’d barely see him. He’d just sit there and write until…it made sense, I guess.” 

“I’m so sorry.” Kate whispered. 

“It’s not your fault.” Alexis assured. “It’s just how he deals. The problems were different before you came along, but his solution’s always been the same.” 

“I guess he can’t write this one away.” Kate spoke softly as she ran her fingers through Castle’s hair. 

***  
“Ms. Rodgers!” Ryan yelled out as he and Esposito sprinted down the street to catch Martha before she hopped in a cab. 

“Oh, hello, boys.” She greeted jovially. “Is Richard okay?” Her smile faded as she asked the question and took in the worried, pained looks on the detectives’ faces. 

“He’s fine,” Esposito clarified. “He didn’t do anything. We were actually wondering if we could speak with you…somewhere private.” He added hesitatingly. 

“Well, of course, but what’s going on?” Martha asked, now truly concerned. 

“It would really be best to wait until we can sit somewhere.” Said Ryan. “Would you mind coming down to the station with us? You’re not in any trouble.” 

Martha’s gaze darted back and forth between Ryan and Esposito before her curiosity trumped the nagging worry in her stomach. 

“Alright.” She replied.


	4. Chapter 4

Poisoned Apples Chapter 4:

Disclaimer: Nopety nope nope.

A/N: Hope you are enjoying! Thank you so much for reading!! 

*****************************

After another hour of sitting on the floor, Kate Beckett’s muscles were starting to cramp. Rick was still sound asleep though, so she sighed and resigned herself to being a human pillow. Mindlessly rubbing small, soothing circles on his biceps, Kate allowed the quiet peace to let her finally think objectively.

What did they know? Seven victims, seven clean crime scenes. No traceable connection between any of the victims. Three women, four men, no DNA. Well, not except for the one they found today. Okay. Reasoning. Why was his DNA there? Kate’s gut told her he was the killer, but in the interest of giving Castle some level of hope, she racked her brain for other possibilities. 

Option one: he found Sally Dryker. Possible, but highly unlikely. He’d been close enough to the body for long enough to leave sweat. If he’d found her, he would’ve either sat with her long enough to leave more than a small sample or he would’ve panicked and called the police – especially if they were going to assume that the more affectionate crime scene was his doing. That was the other issue; the one that made Kate absolutely sure in her instincts. None of the bodies were moved post-mortem. Every victim was drugged, dragged or carried to a flat surface, and then killed by an air embolism. That meant that Sally Dryker’s more peaceful setting was a result of the killer, not of a person of interest. Not only that, if Castle’s dad had simply found the body, he wouldn’t have known the apartment was a crime scene. He would’ve left finger prints, hair, something to say that he was there for a personal reason. The apartment was wiped clean when they found it: barely even evidence of Sally’s own presence. No, there was no way he was a simple bystander. 

Option two: He’d been with Sally before the murder and somehow the one drop of sweat escaped the killer’s wipe down. So unlikely that Kate wanted to roll her eyes at herself. Seven crime scenes and he messes up a basic wipe down? Extremely unlikely, not to mention that Lanie found traces of disinfectant all over Sally’s body, identical to the other victims, including her chest. The sweat had to have fallen after Sally was wiped down. 

Option three: He’s the killer. He’s the killer.

“Dammit.” Kate whispered to herself. She wanted so desperately to come up with any other explanation than the one that was currently sending the love of her life down the rabbit hole, but she couldn’t do it. The detective in her knew that while technically he was just a suspect, the odds were overwhelmingly against him. 

A soft shuffling against her leg brought Kate back to the man lying on the kitchen floor. 

“Mphkate?” Rick mumbled as he drifted back into consciousness. 

“Shh, go back to sleep.” She soothed.   
“Back hurts.” He murmured more clearly. Rick slowly shifted so he sat by Kate’s side, his back cracking at the welcome change in position. 

“You okay?” She asked lamely. 

“I think you know the answer to that.” He sighed. “But thanks for asking.” 

“Always.” Kate whispered as she grasped his hand. 

He leaned back against the cabinets, too emotionally drained to bother suggesting they get off the hard floor. 

“Alexis?” he asked. 

“She left a little while ago.” Kate replied. “She needed to get out of the apartment.” 

Rick turned to look at her sharply.

“Don’t worry, you know her.” Kate caught his question. “She’s just going over to a friend’s, she won’t do anything you’re thinking about.” 

“Is she okay?” He asked, slightly calmed. 

“She’s been better.” Kate sighed. “We talked a little while you were sleeping.”

“I wish she didn’t have to see me like this.” His gazed turned downwards and Kate’s heart melted for him just a little more. 

“I know.” She said. “She’ll be okay though. It can be hard to watch parents be people, but she’ll pull through.” 

Castle’s heart warmed at the genuine affection and pride for his daughter in Kate’s voice. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kate asked hesitatingly after a few moments. 

“I,” Castle’s reply was cut off by Kate’s phone blaring through the otherwise quiet apartment. 

“Sorry.” She said. “I’ll be right back.” 

Kate reluctantly stood up to grab her phone off the kitchen table. 

“Beckett.” She answered. 

Castle watched as she responded to whomever was on the other end with curt, short responses; her no-nonsense detective façade never allowing him to guess to the context of the call. It was oddly calming. Watching her in her element always made him feel at peace – as if her command of her world could always bring balance to his. 

“Body?” He asked. 

Kate stayed silent, cradling her phone trying to think of what to say. It was Esposito on the phone. He and Ryan apparently had a very interesting talk with Martha and needed to talk to Kate. She couldn’t leave Castle, that was out of the question, but she also couldn’t have Ryan and Esposito brief her on their conversation in front of him. On top of that, it was extremely likely that Martha was on her way home and she needed to be here for when that clash inevitably happened, and there simply were not three of her in the universe. 

Well, they did say no secrets.

“No, um, that was the guys.” She said softly. 

“Break in the case?” He asked. Neither was sure if his question was hopeful or terrified. 

“Sort of.” She said. Kate took a deep breath. “They just finished speaking with your mother.” 

“They what?” He asked, his voice dangerously low. 

“Rick,” Shit, this was exactly what she didn’t want. 

“They had no right, Kate!” He yelled. 

“Rick, I know you’re angry, but you have to understand.” 

“Did you tell them to talk to her?” He asked. 

“What?” 

“What else did you do while I was sleeping Kate? How far behind my back did you go?” 

“Castle!” Kate snapped. Even through his blind anger, the tone in her voice managed to shut him up. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, so I’m going to ignore that last comment, but in return, you are going to sit and listen to everything I have to say before you start screaming again, okay.” 

Castle’s stance wavered as he considered, but eventually he sat down and waited. Somehow, he knew he’d always sit and wait for her. 

“Thank you.” She said sincerely. “Rick, first, you have to know, I didn’t know they went to talk to Martha. I asked Lanie to tell Ryan and Esposito after we left, but I never talked to them once we got home.” She breathed a sigh of relief as his shoulders relaxed a small bit. “Second, please don’t be mad at them. I know they’re our friends, but Martha is the only person we know who might have an idea of where to find your fa…of where to find this guy.” 

“It’s just,” He spoke, “it’s all happening so fast.” 

Kate sat down next to him, not sure if he was ready to open up about how he was feeling, but willing to take anything he was ready to give. 

“She always told me she had no idea who he was. He was always just ‘one of those guys around the theater’.” He paused. “If Ryan and Esposito have something to tell you after talking with her, then that means, god dammit, Kate, she lied to me!” He stormed across the kitchen, fist slamming against the counter-top. 

Kate didn’t have a response to that, although she couldn’t help the quick singe of pain at the realization that once again, Castle was hurting because a loved one lied to him. Staying quiet, she simply walked up behind him and gently molded herself to his back, her arms gently encircling his chest. It wasn’t sexual, it wasn’t even really affectionate, it was just a small reminder that she was there with him – no matter how he needed to interpret that fact. 

“Do you want me to wait?” Kate finally asked. 

“What do you mean?” He deadpanned. 

“To talk to Ryan and Esposito.” She clarified. “Until you can talk to Martha?” 

“Yeah.” He whispered. “Yeah, that’d be good.” 

“Okay.” She said simply. Kate let her arms slip back to her sides and moved to give him a moment alone. 

“Kate.” He pulled her back. “Thank you. Really.” 

“Of course, Rick.” She said before she turned and walked to their room. 

Kate Beckett felt the air leave her lungs on a less-than-graceful whoosh as she flopped down on the bed. The itch to pick up her phone was nearly excruciating, but she stood by what she said. Waiting for Castle and Martha to have what was sure to be the worst mother-son showdown in history would undoubtedly take time away from the case, but she knew she made the right decision. She knew what it was like to feel like everyone around you knew your own life better than you did and she needed to do what she could to spare Castle from that. Despite the gravity of the situation, Kate couldn’t help but smile at that thought. She’d come a long way in six months. 

As Kate took her own breather, Castle finally felt the toll of the last few hours sink in. He finally understood how Kate always seemed so numb when he thought she should be drowning in tears. He was actually too tired to feel, let alone cry. He was sure the dam would break again when he faced his mother, but he had time before then. A little time, at least. 

He never thought it would happen like this. Hell, until last year, he never thought it would happen at all. After too many stories of fathers and astronauts and cowboys, he finally resigned himself to a happy place where he didn’t need to know who his father was. Then of course, Sophia Turner shower up with her CIA Intel and burned his hiding hole to the ground. Recently though, and especially after watching Kate finally put her mother’s case to rest, he’d come to the conclusion that not only did he not need to know, he didn’t want to know. At this point in his life, the knowledge could only hurt him, and with he and Kate finally in a place to start a relationship, he didn’t want any major life distractions. Apparently the universe had other plans. 

Even in his wildest nightmares, though, Richard Castle never imagined his father to be a killer. 

He spent his entire life obsessed with the study of the macabre and why people are able to do such horrible things to one another. One thing he’d learned from his time at the 12th was that serial killers, especially, were destined to kill. People who kill for reasons outside a crime of passion didn’t need a reason; they needed a trigger. His father was always and would always be a killer, and it wasn’t a sudden, passionate life event that made him that way. 

What did that mean? Did his mother know? Did she sense some evil in him when they were together? What did it mean for him? 

Castle let his head drop into his hands as he heard a key in the door. For once in his life, he wish he didn’t have so many questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ninja-uploading chapters is super funsies! :D


	5. Chapter 5

Poisoned Apples Chapter 5:

Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I also wish I was married to Nathan and that's not going so well...

A/N: Things are getting dramatic! Let me know if you're enjoying. :D <3

****************************

“Richard!” Martha called out as she entered the loft. “Richard? Kate? Are you here?” 

It was a normal enough question, but Martha Rodgers knew today that it wasn’t normal at all. Her voice was rasped from crying and laced with the worry and shock from her interview with Ryan and Esposito. 

She still couldn’t believe it. In 40 years, she’d done everything in her power to forget about the first man to irreparably change her life, just like he’d told her to. She lied to her son when he was old enough to ask questions, she concealed her pregnancy from the media to hide that Richard was his son, and now, after all this time, her past was coming back with a vengeance that she couldn’t calm. 

“Richard, if you’re home, please come here.” She pleaded. “I need to tell you something.” 

Castle walked slowly out of the shadows of the kitchen and one look at his face told Martha he already knew more than she ever wanted. 

“Mother.” He stated. 

“Kate told you, I take it.” She sighed regretfully, even though she didn’t blame Kate for revealing the truth. 

“I asked her. She didn’t want to.” He curtly replied. 

“Richard, I’m so” 

“Oh don’t say you’re sorry, Mother.” He spat. “You lied to me for 40 years, don’t you dare try to say you’re sorry now.” 

Martha stared wide-eyed at her son. She’d never seen him this angry before, not even at Kate after he found out about her own lie. 

“I want answers.” He continued harshly. “Now. And if you’re not going to give them to me, then get out of my house!” 

“Rick!” Kate gasped from the bedroom doorway. She planned to stay out of sight and let the two of them have their privacy unless they needed her, but she knew how badly this could end and she couldn’t let it come to that. Not now. 

“Back off, Beckett.” He snapped. Kate froze. Shit. His eyes were stone cold as he glanced back and forth between the two women. 

“I’m done with being lied to.” He said. “I’m done with people deciding what I’m ready or not ready to hear, I’m done with people deciding my life for me. Understood?” 

Kate and Martha stayed silent. 

“Now if either of you have something important to say, you can sit down and start talking. Otherwise, you can leave me the hell alone.” Castle’s voice cracked from his earlier crying and Kate didn’t know what to do. Her heart was screaming at her to go hold him, but she knew he didn’t want that, and she couldn’t risk making things worse. Castle only knew how to be the reasonable one in an argument and she didn’t know what to expect now that his entire life had been ripped out from under him. 

“His name is Clinton Saunders.” Martha said, her voice shaking slightly, but holding it’s own for Castle’s sake. Kate and Castle stared at her in silence, both unsure of what to say. Martha closed her eyes for a moment and moved to sit on the couch. “At least, that’s what he told me.” She continued. Kate moved to sit, but Castle kept standing, his eyes glaring down at the woman in front of him. 

“We met at a party after one of my shows.” She remembered. “He was standing alone and I couldn’t help but think it was odd that he didn’t seem to know anyone.” Her eyes misted over at the memory of what she’d thought was love. “We talked that night, and well, you know…” She sighed. “After that, he started coming to more and more after parties. It went on for over a month before I realized I knew almost nothing about him. He was so charming and he asked questions about my work as if he really wanted to know the answers. I guess I just forgot to ask about him.” 

Castle’s anger dissipated slightly and he slowly sat down next to Kate, his eyes still fixed on his mother. 

“One night, I finally did ask and he brushed it off. Said it wasn’t important.” She continued. “I didn’t mention it again until…” She trailed off. 

“Martha, please.” Kate said softly. 

“A couple weeks later, we were out at dinner before my call. He’d been ‘busy’ and we’d barely seen each other so I begged him for a couple hours. He was, on-edge, the entire meal. I had no idea what was going on.” She took a deep breath. “It was getting close to time, so he offered to pay so I could run to the theater. I ran two blocks before I realized I left my purse and when I went back to get it…” Small tears were finally escaping Martha’s eyes. 

“My purse was at the table where I left it, but there was also a bag by his chair. I figured he must’ve left it, he seemed so overwhelmed. I picked it up, hoping to give it to him later, but the zipper caught on the chair and it spilled open.” Martha choked. “I didn’t know what to do! He stormed back in, stuffed the bag and ran out. He was so angry.” She sobbed.   
“What was in the bag, Martha?” Kate asked, fearing the answer. 

“A syringe, a bottle, gloves…and a container of Ketone’s bleach.” She whispered. Kate paled. 

“Son of bitch…” the detective whispered. Castle tried to ask, but Kate shushed him and urged Martha to continue. 

“When I was done with the show, there were flowers waiting for me in my dressing room.” Martha said. “The note said that if I went to the police, death would be the least of my problems…” She cried. “When I found out I was pregnant, I panicked.” She admitted. “I’d just won a Tony, I couldn’t let reporters know, I couldn’t let him find you.” She whispered through tears to Castle. “So I lied. I lied to protect you. I’m sorry, Richard, I’m so sorry.” She sobbed. She reached out for his hand, but he snatched it away like she burned him. 

“Kate, what is she not telling me?” He deadpanned. Kate looked back and forth between the two, hating that she had to hurt Martha more in order to even try to salvage Castle’s sanity. 

“Ketone’s bleach.” She said. “I looked into similar killings when we found the third body. There was a serial killer in the 60s who was never caught because his crime scenes were sterilized like ours. Nine bodies before he just disappeared. Ketone’s bleach all over the crime scene was his calling card. It was the one detail given to the public.” Kate averted her gaze from both pairs of disbelieving eyes. 

“How could you?” He whispered frigidly. Kate stiffened before she realized Castle was talking to Martha. “How could you do this? Why did you have me?” He yelled. “Why didn’t you just get rid of me, dammit?”

“Richard, please!” Martha begged. 

“NO!” He shouted. “You knew what he was, you knew and you still…how can you look at me?” He cried, turning to Kate. “How can you touch me?” He asked miserably. 

“Rick.” Kate tried, her voice overwrought with her own tears now. 

“Get away from me!” He yelled as he ducked Kate’s arms and stormed out of the loft.


	6. Chapter 6

Poisoned Apples Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own them. 

A/N: I love you guys! <3

***************************************

He didn’t know how he got there. At this point, with his clothes soaked through and ruined, he wasn’t even sure how long he’d been there. One thing was for sure though: he needed to move. Kate might not think of this place first, but it would definitely make her list and he couldn’t look her in the eye. Not yet. Maybe not ever. 

The swing sagged under his weight and the soft creak of the hinges created an imbalanced rhythm against the hard fall of the October rain. In time, Rick was sure he would look back on this moment and laugh at the hypocrisy of it all. Six months ago, it was Kate sitting on these swings and him begging her to see reason. He owed her another apology. In the middle of the chaos, the last thing he wanted was for someone to tell him to be reasonable. He didn’t want to hear that ‘everything was going to be okay’ or that ‘he just needed to let it out’. Sentimentality, even well-meant sentimentality, grated violently against his need to just hear the truth. Things were not okay. He wasn’t sure that they would ever be okay. 

When he first started writing short stories, he remembered his mother being angry, but he didn’t know why. Years ago, when Kate asked him what got him interested in morbidity, he only made up a story because the truth was, there wasn’t a story. There was no reason behind his interest. He started writing horror and crime because he was fascinated with the twisted minds of criminals, but that interest came out of nowhere. Maybe he saw a billboard, maybe he read a couple lines of an article, but he couldn’t pin point that moment – if there even was a moment. 

For all intents and purposes, his ability to think like a bad guy was natural.

One might even say inherited. 

The rain hammered down, plastering his hair to his face and chilling his skin. He couldn’t even feel it. 

What was he? If things were different, if his childhood were miserable, would he be killing instead of writing to satisfy his curiosity? Might he still? How could his mother watch him grow everyday? Did he look like his father? Did his mother die a little everyday watching her child grow to look like the man who ruined her life? Why didn’t she tell him when Meredith got pregnant? How could she sit there and let him raise a child when his genes could snap at any second and lead him into a full-scale slaughter? 

“Son of a bitch!” He swore to the darkness as he kicked at the ground and sent a harsh splash of muddy water up towards his face. Great. Well, it didn’t really matter, he supposed. Now the outside was as filthy as the inside. 

This time, Richard Castle felt his tears start to fall. The warm salt water stung his face as it fell too fast for the rain to wash away. 

***

“Rick!” Kate pounded on the office door of the Old Haunt. “Castle!” 

More silence greeted her. 

“Richard Alexander Rodgers, answer me, dammit!” She screamed. After forcing herself to make sure Martha was alright, Kate ran out the door after Rick. By the time she got to the street though, he was nowhere to be seen. She asked the doorman, but he didn’t noticed which way he went. She even ran around and asked people on the street. Figured, the one time she needed people to recognize him was the one time he managed to be invisible. Somewhere, she hoped he was appreciating the irony. 

Kate Beckett slumped to the floor and buried her head in her hands. She was tired, so very tired and she was running out of places to look. She tried everywhere: her apartment, the precinct, their coffee shop, the Old Haunt, Ryan and Esposito, he was gone. Just gone. Vanished. 

She tried calling him again on autopilot even though she knew she’d get his voicemail. 

Hi there! You’ve reached Richard Castle. I’m off saving the world right now, but if you leave me a message, I’ll be sure to get back to you….unless this is Gina, then I’m writing. So busy writing that I can’t get to the phone! 

Beep.

“Rick.” Kate whispered desperately. “I don’t know if you’re listening, but please come back. You’re always telling me not to run, Rick. You’re always telling me not to run from us and I know it’s been hard, but I’m trying, I’m really trying, but I can’t do this. I don’t know how to chase, Rick, not without you. I love you.” 

Kate hung up the phone and wiped her cheeks. It took four years, a brush with death, and a walk in a torrential downpour for her to come to her senses and Rick was just as stubborn as she. 

Forcing herself to take a deep breath, Kate stood slowly and made her way to the door of the Old Haunt. 

“Oh perfect.” Kate sighed as she stared out the front window at the storm.

The storm…

Oh it was a long shot, but they were always so in sync, maybe it was worth it. Tugging her jacket up over her head, Kate ran out into the rain and headed towards the park. 

***  
“Esposito.” The detective answered exhaustedly, glad to have an excuse to look away from his computer and his useless researching. 

“Javier, it’s Lanie.” The worried doctor’s words snapped Esposito to attention and he signaled to Ryan. “I found something.” 

“We’re on our way.” He said. Ryan hopped up to follow him and the two raced to the elevator. 

“What do you think she found?” Ryan asked shakily when the doors closed. 

“I don’t know, bro.” Esposito replied. “I don’t even know if I wanna know.” 

The doors clanged open and the two detectives rushed down the hall to the morgue. 

“Lanie, whaddya got?” Ryan asked. He tried to force some kind of cheer into his voice, but her red eyes told him and Esposito all they needed to know. Her theory was right. 

“Lanie just tell us.” Esposito urged with a hand on her shoulder. 

“The results from the first two tests came back.” She spoke. “Well, sort of. I ran the first one and nothing showed up, so I ran the second one and… well, see for yourselves.” 

She led Ryan and Esposito to her computer and the three of them stared, their hearts sinking. Lanie worked backwards, starting with a DNA sample from Sally Dryker – the different victim. Nothing popped. Looking at the second sample, they saw why. Melinda Carlyle, the sixth victim, was a 50% match to both Sally Dryker and their mystery killer. 

“Half-sister.” Ryan whispered. 

“Jesus Christ.” Esposito swore. 

“I still have to run the other ones, but if this is any sign, then,” Lanie choked. 

“Then Castle and Martha might be in trouble.” Esposito finished. 

***

Mud sloshed against her heels and dragged her into the dirt with every step. If Rick was at the park, she was going to kill him once they got home. A street lamp lit the swing set ahead, but she couldn’t see a person’s silhouette. 

“Rick!” She called. “Rick, are you here?” She ran towards the swings as fast as her mud-ridden shoes could manage. “Oh, god, Castle!” She screamed as she ran toward the figure on the ground.   
“Rick! Rick, are you okay?” She asked frantically, shaking him. “Rick, wake up!” 

He groaned, but she couldn’t be sure if it was from pain or from irritance. 

“Kate?” He rasped. 

“Castle!” She sighed in relief. Kate propped him up and crushed him too her, secretly relieved that he hadn’t gone off and done something irreparably stupid. Then again…

“You idiot!” She screamed as she pinched his ear between her fingers. 

“OW!” He yelled, suddenly wide-awake. “Apples, apples, apples!” 

“Don’t you ever do that again!” She shouted. “Do you have any idea how scared I was, how scared your mother was? 

“I don’t care.” He replied gruffly before shoving her away and moving to stand. 

“What?” Kate asked dumbly. 

“I said I don’t care.” He growled. “And isn’t that refreshing, Kate? Me not caring?” He felt his heart twinge at the hurt look on her face, but it was dark, raining, and since he’d already told the rest of his life to fuck off, why not keep going? 

“Rick, please.” Kate pleaded. 

“You always hated my persistence, well, now you can rejoice!” He shouted sarcastically. “Four years of trying to prove myself, and then this.” He sighed. “You were right, Kate.” He spoke, his voice suddenly compassionate. “I’m not good enough for you. I never was, I never will be.” 

“Castle, what the hell are you talking about?” Kate asked desperately. 

“I told you to leave me alone, why didn’t you listen?” He deadpanned. “Why didn’t you listen, Kate?” 

She didn’t speak. She didn’t say anything. As much as it hurt, she knew where he was, emotionally, and nothing she said was going to pull him out of it, so she stayed silent. Instead, she did the only thing she could do to reassure him she wasn’t going anywhere, no matter how hard he pushed. She kissed him.


	7. Chapter 7

Poisoned Apples Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or its characters. 

PREVIOUSLY:

She kissed him. 

CHAPTER 7:

For a moment, in the small space and time containing only their lips, Rick nearly forgot he was upset. For a split second, he allowed himself to lose his mind and soul in the one person able to erase his fears. 

Seconds and moments are fleeting. 

“No, stop!” Castle cried as he pushed Kate away, their lips separating with a hollowing smack. “Kate I know what you’re trying to do, and just stop it.” 

Kate shook off the expected stab of hurt, refusing to let his words get to her. She’d been there, she knew he meant them in the moment, but she also knew him, and if this was the only way to get him conscious enough to start processing everything, then that’s what she would do. 

She roughly grabbed his jacket and brought him back to her. Her lips skated the line between loving and vicious as she tried everything she knew to wipe all but sensation from his mind. He was still fighting her though. After she felt his lips relax a fraction, she gently caressed him with her tongue, a silent plea for further entrance, but he was having none of that. 

“Kate, please.” He whispered against her as she continued to push. “Kate,” he faltered briefly when she moaned against his mouth, but her hand sliding to his shirt hem brought him quickly back. “Kate, dammit, I said stop!” He yelled, pushing her harder than before. 

He watched in shock and horror as the force of his words and his strength sent Kate slipping and falling into the mud. Her kisses might not have worked, but Rick felt his sanity come racing back as Kate slid helplessly fast into the swing set. A sickening crack echoed through the air and in that moment, his father could’ve been Satan for all he cared.

“Kate!” The scared, but realistic snap in his voice brought an eerie smile to his love’s face as she felt her eyes closing. Rick threw himself down to catch her head as it started to fall to the side. “Kate,” he whispered, “Oh God, Kate, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please be okay. Oh God, what’ve I done?” He cried. 

It was all his fault. He tried to warn her, but she was too stubborn. This was exactly what he wanted to shield her from: this anger he didn’t know he possessed, that he didn’t know how to control. 

The warm, sticky feel of her blood on his hand finally got him to search for his phone. 

“Shit, no, not now.” He swore when his hand met empty pockets. He did a quick glance around, and his heart sunk when he spotted his phone under the swing seat, drenched in mud and ruined beyond repair. 

“No, no, no.” He chanted to himself. He didn’t know what to do. Kate’s phone was equally destroyed, she was bleeding all over his hand, she needed to get to a hospital, and they were stuck sitting in the pouring rain in the middle of a park. In another life, he would’ve laughed. In this life, he knew the best-case scenario was a concussion for her, and house arrest for him. She would never press charges, but he hurt her. He hurt Kate Beckett, and even if his own guilt wasn’t enough to drive him permanently into hiding, he knew his hours were limited once the boys found out. For now though, he needed her safe. Once she was safe, he could run. Once she was safe, he could protect his family. Once she was safe, he could spare her everything he never meant to do. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Kate.” He said. “I promise you’re gonna be okay.” Gently cradling her head, he lifted her up and carried her across the street. Somewhere in his mental panic, he managed to remember a pay phone by the bookstore where he once did a signing. He set Kate down carefully and leaned her back against the wall under the awning. His stomach lurched at the thought of what moving her might’ve done, but he couldn’t just leave her lying in the mud. He just couldn’t. 

His fingers shaking, he dialed 911. 

“911, what is your emergency?” 

“Hello, please, my girlfriend, she hit her head, she’s bleeding.” He was starting to hyperventilate. 

“Okay, sir, I need you to take a breath and tell me where you are.”

“Bookstore.” He spouted before realizing it was useless. “Union Square off 14th street.” He clarified. 

“Alright, sir, an ambulance is on the way.” 

“Thank you.” He cried. “Thank you thank you!” 

“Castle?” He heard a soft voice mumble from behind him. 

“Kate!” He cried enthusiastically. “Oh my God, can you hear me?” 

“Fuzzy.” She murmured, then groaned. “Head hurts.” She winced. 

“The ambulance is coming, Kate, just stay with me, okay?” He pleaded. 

“Rick,” she said softly.   
“Shh, don’t talk.” He placed a finger over her lips. “Just stay focused.” 

“Rick,” she said anyway, “I love you.” 

Sirens wailed in the distance as Kate fell back into unconsciousness.

***

“What the hell happened?” Esposito shouted with Ryan at his heels.

The second they got to the hospital, Rick called them to let them know what was going on. He only got out “Kate’s in the hospital.”, however, before he was hung up on and the two detectives were racing across town. 

“Is she okay?” Ryan asked hurriedly. 

“The doctor said it’s a concussion.” Rick deadpanned. “She has to be monitored, but she’s lucky.” 

He didn’t say just how lucky. He didn’t think he could bear to repeat it. The look on the doctor’s face when he told Rick how dangerous the bleeding almost was would be burned in the writer’s mind forever. 

“What happened?” Esposito asked again. Ryan looked up at Rick expectantly. Kate Beckett didn’t just fall and hit her head. 

Rick didn’t even look at the floor. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to hide his shame, he wanted to be punished for it. 

“I pushed her.” He said. 

Esposito and Ryan just stared at him like he’d grown a second head. 

“I pushed her,” he repeated, “and she fell.” He blinked away the damn tears that started to reform hours ago. “It’s my fault.” He whispered. “Son of a bitch, it’s all my fault.” 

Rick pushed past the stunned detectives and out of the waiting room. 

“Kate Beckett?” A doctor asked as he entered a few seconds after Rick. 

“Yeah.” Ryan replied after a moment. “Yeah, that’s us.” 

“She’s awake.” The doctor replied. “She’s asking for a Richard Castle?” 

The two detectives glanced at each other, unsure of what to do. 

“Well see her,” Esposito decided. “He’ll be back soon, we’ll just tell her he’s not here.” 

The doctor nodded and led the way to Kate’s room. After they were alone, Ryan stopped his partner’s hand on the door. 

“What do we say?” He asked sincerely. 

“I don’t know.” Esposito sighed. “I just don’t know.” 

Both detectives looked up at the sound of heels running down the hall towards them. 

“Is she okay?” Lanie asked frantically. “I got here as fast as I could!” She panted. “Where’s Castle?” 

“He left.” Esposito muttered with clenched fists. 

“What?” Lanie asked.

“Said it was all his fault.” Ryan clarified. “He pushed her.” 

Lanie’s eyes went wide. 

“No.” She replied. “No, there’s no way he’d ever hurt my girl.” 

“Well he did, Lanie!” Esposito snapped. “He did and now Kate’s asking for him and he’s gone.” 

Lanie looked between the two men, still not entirely processing the turn of events. 

“You stay with her.” She decided. “I’m going to him.” 

“What makes you think he’ll listen?” Ryan asked. 

“I’ll tell him everything.” The M.E. replied. “I got the rest of the samples back, and I need to have a long talk with him anyway. If Kate can’t get through to him, then I’m just going to have to.” 

“You found more?” Esposito asked. 

“Yeah,” she replied. “Lot’s more.” 

***

“Hey chica.” Esposito said warmly. 

Kate looked up as he and Ryan entered the room, her smile faltering when it wasn’t Rick behind the greeting. 

“Hey guys.” She spoke softly. “Where’s Castle?” 

Ryan sighed. 

“We don’t know.” He answered honestly. “He told us what happened and he took off.” Kate’s eyes watered. “Beckett, what happened?” Ryan asked. He needed to hear it from her. 

“We fought.” She replied. “He stormed out of the loft after he talked with Martha. It, a, went badly.” She chose to ignore their guilty expressions. “I tried to find him. I looked everywhere and finally found him at the park.” Kate took in the darkened looks in their eyes. “He didn’t mean to, guys, I swear.” 

“But it’s true, he hurt you.” Esposito said. 

“Yes.” She admitted. Both Ryan and Esposito moved to talk, but she shushed them. “Guys, please, the last thing I need right now is a fight over my honor, I’m fine. I mean, I’m not great…and I don’t know if I completely forgive him, but it was an accident. Really.” 

The detectives seemed to realize it was no use arguing with her. 

“Lanie’s on her way to the loft.” Ryan changed the subject. “She wants to talk with him.” 

“Oh, no, not about,” Kate said worriedly. 

“No, no.” Ryan answered. “Well, a little. She’s pissed he left you here, but she has more DNA results.” 

Kate paled. 

“There’s more?” She asked hesitatingly. 

“According to Lanie,” Esposito said, “There’s lots more.” 

Kate closed her eyes and tried desperately not to panic at the thought of Rick going even further off the deep end. 

“Find out how fast I can get out of here.” She directed.


	8. Chapter 8

Poisoned Apples Chapter 8:

Disclaimer: If I owned them, the show would be on HBO and there would be no plot - only Nathan's butt. 

*************************************

“Hold on!” Alexis shouted, hurrying down the stairs. She hoped whoever it was could hear her over their insistent pounding. 

The young girl whipped the door open to an impatient Lanie Parish. 

“Richard Cas-, oh, sorry Lex.” She fumbled. 

“It’s okay Dr. Parish.” The girl replied. Lanie frowned as she took in Alexis’ appearance. She clearly wasn’t faring much better than her father, but knowing little Castle, she was probably pushing everything to the side to be the grownup her dad needed. 

“Is he here?” Lanie asked. Reminding Alexis that she was only 18 years old wasn’t going to accomplish anything and Lanie always believed in treating the cause of the illness not the symptom. 

“Sort of.” The red head replied. “He came home a little while ago and locked himself in his office. I think he was crying.” 

“What about your grams?” Lanie asked worriedly. 

“She’s in her room.” Alexis sighed sadly. “I don’t know what happened while I was gone, but she won’t talk to me.” She paused, and a veil seemed to lift as Alexis realized she was alone with her mentor. “I don’t know what to do, Lanie.” She cried. “I’ve never seen my dad like this and I don’t even know what I’m feeling myself and I just, I don’t know what to do.” Alexis felt comforting arms surround her instantly and let herself go. She couldn’t even tell if she was crying from sadness and frustration or from the relief of not having to hold it together. 

“You don’t have to do anything, sweetie.” Lanie reassured. “I wish I could tell you everything’s gonna be okay, but the truth is I don’t know. What I do know though, is that you and your dad are two of the strongest people I’ve ever met, and if anyone can get through this mess, it’s you guys.” 

“He won’t talk about it.” Alexis told her through red eyes. “Not even to Kate…” Lanie tensed at the realization that Alexis had no idea that Kate was in the hospital, let alone of the circumstances that put her there. Thankfully, Alexis didn’t seem to notice. 

“Yeah, well, he’s a guy, Lex.” She quipped affectionately. Alexis let a soft smile through. “Plus, he’s your dad. He doesn’t want you to see the ‘real him’. He just wants his little girl to see him as the superhero he wants to be.” 

“I guess.” Alexis said. 

The two stood in comfortable, if sad silence, the older simply holding the younger. Lanie wished she was better at this. She always knew what to say to Kate, but giving advice to a girlfriend seemed so simple compared to leading her mentee through one of the most trying times of her life – and right before she went off to college. She guessed she understood Kate in that respect. It was so tempting to want to just solve the puzzle and fix the circumstances when you didn’t know how to fix the people you loved. 

“Lex.” She finally broke the silence. “I’m here because we found something.” 

Alexis’ head whipped up. 

“You mean you found him?” She asked. Lanie grimaced when she couldn’t tell if her tone was hopeful or terrified. 

“No, not yet.” She replied. “But we ran more tests on the victims and, well, it’s really important that I talk to Castle.” 

Alexis seemed to ponder for a moment. 

“I think you should wait until Kate gets back.” The younger girl suggested. “He’s really not up for much, and I think it might be easier with Kate here.” 

Lanie’s heart sunk. No, she couldn’t tell Alexis what happened. She didn’t need that. 

“Kate’s, um, really busy with a lead right now.” She lied. “I’d wait, but I don’t know when she’ll be coming home.” Well, that part wasn’t a lie. 

“Right,” Alexis said, slightly suspicious. “do you want me to come with?” She asked. 

“No!” Lanie said a little too harshly. “I mean, it’s okay. I’m not trying to hide evidence from you, and you’ll find out soon enough, I just need to speak with him alone this time.” 

“Of course.” Lanie was slightly surprised at the understanding in Alexis’ voice, but she supposed she shouldn’t have been. “I’ll be upstairs. I should check on gram, anyway.” Alexis replied. 

“Thanks sweetie.” Alexis turned to leave. “Hey Lex!” Lanie called out. “I meant what I said before. You guys are gonna get through this. I promise.” 

Alexis smiled and nodded, her eyes shining with solemn acceptance as she headed up the stairs. 

Lanie sighed. Her heart broke for her odd, complicated family. Wherever this scumbag was, she hoped he was hurting, hoped he knew he was destroying far more than the seven lives he took. She walked resolutely towards the office. 

“Castle!” She called, knocking softly on the door. “Castle, open up.” Silence greeted her. “Writer boy, don’t make me take this door down...” After a moment, she heard rustling inside and eventually, the lock on the door clicked open. 

“If you’re here to yell at me for Kate, you can’t make me feel any worse than I already do.” He said. Lanie had a retort ready, but she bit it back immediately as Castle’s face came into the light. He was past tough love, past comfort, past ‘do-the-right-thing’. For lack of a better word, Lanie felt the usually lively writer looked, well, numb. This was going to be harder than she thought. 

“I don’t want to make you feel bad at all, Castle.” She said. “And I’m not here to protect Kate, she can do that on her own.” 

“She couldn’t protect herself from me.” He muttered miserably. 

“Do you really think she’d be asking for you at the hospital if she felt that way?” Lanie asked. Castle stayed quiet, his eyes downcast. “She’s upset, Castle,” Lanie admitted, “but she doesn’t hate you. The boys called me on my way over here to let me know how she was.” He finally looked up.

“Why?” He asked. 

“Why what?” 

“Why doesn’t she hate me?” He asked in earnest. It wasn’t the first time that night he’d asked a similar question, but thus far, no one had given him an answer he liked. 

“Castle, I don’t think Kate could ever hate you.” She said. “In the past four years, even when she’s been ready to shoot you, I don’t think she’s ever hated you.” Lanie relished in the nearly invisible smile that creased Castle’s face. “She’s scared for you, though,” she sighed. “She’s never been on the other side of something like this. She likes to pretend she has, and I guess she’s sorta right. She connects to every victim, but at the end of the day, she knows she can play the badass cop and make things better. She can’t do that this time and it terrifies her.” Castle was listening now. “Castle, you didn’t cause any of this.” Lanie reassured. “You are not defined by the actions of a man you’ve never met.” 

“How can you know that?” He whispered. 

“Cause I know you.” She replied. “You think you’re the only one who observes things? Castle, I see who you are every day Alexis comes to work, every time I talk to Kate, every time we all go out for drinks. You are kind, and loving, and compassionate, and you are not him.” 

“I wish I could believe you.” He sighed. 

“I didn’t really expect you to.” She admitted. “I’m just hoping that if we all say it enough, it might sink in one day.” 

“Maybe,” Castle said to himself. “One day. So, did you just stop by to boost my self-esteem?” He asked without his usual smirk. 

“Partly,” Lanie replied. “Mostly I was hoping I could get to you come back to the hospital with me…” 

“No.” Castle stated. 

“Castle, you don’t eve,” 

“I said no, Lanie, it’s not a discussion.” He replied more firmly. “You said ‘mostly’, what’s the other reason?” 

“We found something.” She said. Castle stopped still. 

“What?” He asked, his voice shaking. 

“The boys had an idea.” she clarified. “I ran with it, and we made a huge break.” 

“Do you know who he is?” Castle asked immediately. “Do you know who he is?!” He asked louder when Lanie didn’t respond. 

“No, I don’t.” She replied somberly. “But we think we know what he’s after.” 

Lanie reached down into her shoulder bag, pulled out a think manila folder, and held it out in front of her. Castle took it with trembling hands. Lanie could see him swallow sharply before he gingerly opened the file. Nine DNA sample results stared back at him, and for a moment, Castle thought they were laughing. 

***

“Hello?” 

“Alexis?” Kate asked from the other side of the phone. “Are you there?” 

“Kate!” Alexis cried with relief. “Are you coming home soon?” Despite the gravity of the situation, Kate found herself smiling at Alexis’ slip. She didn’t technically live at the loft, but considering she hadn’t slept in her own bed in over two weeks, she might as well be a member of the household. 

“I’m working on it.” The detective replied. “Kevin and Javi are talking to my doctor right now, and I think I should be all clear soon.” 

“Oh okay, great! It’s just that Lanie’s…wait, did you say doctor?” Alexis asked. 

“Oh, yeah,” Kate said awkwardly. “Your dad must’ve forgotten to tell you. Just a small accident and a bump on the head. I’ll be fine.” 

“But you’re in the hospital?” Alexis pushed. She heard muffled excited voices in the background and Kate yelling thanks to someone on the other side of the phone. 

“Not anymore!” Kate said excitedly. She really hated hospitals, and when the boys got her sprung, she couldn’t help the jolt of happiness. “Lex, listen,” she spoke again, serious after remembering her original reason for calling the girl, “the boys filled me in and there’s a lot we need to tell you guys, but can you do me a favor?” 

“Um, sure.” Alexis replied, confused by the turn of events. 

“Make sure your dad doesn’t leave the loft until I get there, okay?” Kate requested. 

“Why?” Alexis asked. 

“Please, Lex.” Kate pleaded. Kate didn’t plead. Whatever it was, it didn’t have to do with the case; it was personal. 

“Yeah,” Alexis replied, “yeah, of course.” 

“Thank you, Alexis.” Kate breathed. “Really.” 

“Time to go, Beckett!” Alexis heard from Kate’s side of the phone. 

“I’ll see you soon then.” Alexis said quietly before hanging up. She allowed herself a quiet respite of looking around her room before she slipped her parental façade on and ventured back downstairs to check on Lanie and her dad. 

The creeks in the stairs made far too much noise in the quiet loft. Was Lanie even still here? 

“Dad?” Alexis called out, walking towards the office. The light was still on, so he was definitely still here – thank goodness for small favors. “Dad?” She asked softer as she pushed the door open. “Dr. Parish?” 

“It’s okay, sweetie, come in.” Lanie’s voice finally coaxed her through the door. Castle still hadn’t said a word. The two adults were sitting on the floor, nine medical files spread out in front of them. On another day, it might’ve looked like Castle was simply spinning theories for one of Beckett’s cases, but Alexis knew this was obviously different. She couldn’t read the names upside-down from her standing position, but she could guess. One of the files had a picture of her dad and one was question box. The other seven were the files of the victims.   
“What is this?” Alexis asked. 

Lanie looked over to Castle, urging him to answer, but he was transfixed in shocked silence at the papers in front of him. One of his hands drifted to the Melinda Carlyle case and he let his finger gently stroke the picture. 

Alexis bent down next to him and took his hand in one of hers as she lifted the file with her other. Her eyes exploded when she realized what she was looking at. 

“Half-sister…” She whispered. Arriving at the same epiphany Lanie did, Alexis frantically looked at the other files. 

The 7th victim: Sally Dryker, Melinda’s mother – the mother of her aunt… 

The 5th victim: Thomas Dalton, another 50% match to their mystery man – Castle’s half-brother, and her uncle… 

The 4th victim: Amanda Jeffries, Thomas’s mother… 

The 3rd victim: Daniel Holton, another 50% match and half-brother…

The 2nd victim: Victoria Saunders, Daniel’s mother…

The 1st victim: Reed Glades, yet another 50% match and half-brother…

Alexis looked up at Lanie, who anticipated her question.   
 “I had the boys do a search for Reed’s mom. She died in a car accident when he was in his 20s.” 

Alexis nodded, understanding her father’s silence. There was nothing she could think to say. She turned her head to see her dad staring at her. He slowly lifted his hand and brushed the stray hair from her face, his movements warm, but his eyes so lost. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He choked. “I’m so sorry.” Alexis threw herself into his arms, needing his reassuring hug now more than ever. 

“Well be okay, dad.” She said, as she looked over his shoulder at Lanie. “We always are.”


	9. Chapter 9

Poisoned Apples Chapter 9:

Disclaimer: Not minesies! 

A/N: THE STORY GOES M FROM HERE ON SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE READING SMUT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! For those of you who like it, enjoy some angsty smut. :D

********************

The door to the loft clicked softly closed behind Kate as she tiptoed through the darkened living room, careful not to bang into any furniture. She knew the layout of the apartment like the back of her hand, but the past 24 hours had been, well, less than normal, so she remained cautious. 

The exhausted and emotionally drained detective berated herself for coming back to the loft so late. She and Alexis talked hours ago, and she really did mean to come straight back, but then Gates called and she needed to go in and she needed to talk to Lanie and suffice it to say she’d taken a lot longer than she anticipated. 

Quiet sat on the dark apartment like a foreboding blanket. Alexis and Martha were probably asleep, but Kate couldn’t be sure about Rick. The light was off in his office and there was no light seeping through the door to the bedroom. He’d either gone to bed or given up on her and run away again. For both their sakes, she prayed it was the former. 

A part of her felt a surge of hope that her partner was asleep and that she could hopefully wait until morning to deal with all this, but she shoved the feeling away. If there was one thing Kate Beckett knew how to do, it was to put off emotional baggage until it came back and bit her in the ass. Tempting, but she knew she couldn’t do that this time. It wasn’t just her baggage. Actually, it really wasn’t even her baggage, it was Castle’s, but that made it hers, and hell if that wasn’t a confusing revelation for the commitment-phobe. 

Kate shucked her jacket by the couch, making a mental note to remember its location in the morning, and delicately made her way through the office towards the bedroom. The thought crossed her mind that he probably didn’t want her there and would be thrilled if she high-tailed it back to her own apartment, but she refused to let herself assume that. Still, after the night they had, he needed space, and what was it she was always screaming at him about when he got smothery about her problems? 

She sighed and eased the door open. She’d make sure he was there and then sleep on the couch. That sounded reasonable, yes? Kate replayed the thought and nodded to herself. Definitely a better plan. That way, he could be by himself, but she’d be there for him if he woke up in a panic or decided he was ready to talk. 

“Alexis?” she heard a voice whisper. Well crap, he was awake. So much for the plan. Kate took a breath and stepped fully through the door, squinting through the moonlight to find her partner in the shadows. 

“Uh, no.” She spoke softly. “It’s me.” The shuffling of clothes finally brought her attention to the window. This was new. He didn’t seem angry or scared anymore, he just looked, empty. “Castle?” She tried for a response, but he remained balled up on the windowsill, staring into the nightlights of the city that never sleeps. 

“I thought you were Alexis.” He finally replied. “She was having trouble sleeping.” Kate didn’t respond, but he didn’t seem to mind. 

“Rick listen, this was a bad idea, I’m just going to go.” She rattled. 

“Maybe you should.” He deadpanned. That stopped her. This wasn’t ‘I’m mad at you’ or ‘I feel awful for what happened’ or ‘I think you’d be safer away from me’. His voice chilled her, because the only message it carried was 

‘I don’t care what you do’. 

“Rick?” She tentatively asked, her voice trembling. He didn’t answer. He didn’t even turn his head. She couldn’t do this. She knew it was hypocritical, she knew he’d never give up on her, but she couldn’t handle this. She could handle furious, she could handle broken, she could even handle an accidental shove, but she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t handle dead. She knew what it was like to feel so dead that nothing anyone said made a difference, and it made her even more helpless. There was nothing she could say right now that would make a difference if he was too shut off to hear a word she said. 

“Castle?” She softly cried. “Please don’t do this, Castle, you can’t.” 

Still not a flinch.

“Castle?” She tried again. Kate blinked and sent her gathering tears on their path down her cheeks, gathering momentum as she realized he couldn’t even see he’d created them. 

Castle’s gaze remained blank and fixed away from her and finally, it was all too much. 

The case, their fight, the hospital, his anger, her helplessness, and finally his apathy boiled over her emotional capacity and she couldn’t be bothered with the couch. Kate slid to the floor, buried her head in her knees and sobbed. Sobbed for everything she was struggling with, sobbed for everything destroying her partner, sobbed for her tiny dysfunctional family, sobbed that she wished she was more. He was ignoring her anyway, why should he care if she was having a breakdown in the middle of his bedroom doorway. 

“Kate?” 

His voice sounded so far away, she swore she imagined it. 

“Oh God, Katie.” 

Before she could figure out he was actually speaking to her, she felt familiar hands reaching out to gently rest on her forearms. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Kate.” He rasped. “I just. I didn’t. I never. Shit, why aren’t you just mad at me?” He asked harshly. 

“What?” She asked quietly, frustrated confusion seeping through the damp curtain of hair now covering her tear-stained face. That’s his first question?

“I didn’t expect you to come back.” He admitted. “I just thought you’d leave. That you wouldn’t forgive me for,” He paused and she looked up into his eyes. “for hurting you.” He whispered. She moved her hand as if to reach for his cheek, but he stood up and backed away. “You weren’t supposed to forgive me!” He shouted. 

“Supposed to forgive you?” She asked unbelievingly. “SUPPOSED to forgive you?” She could feel her anger rising, but the dam was open and she didn’t care. “What the hell does that mean?” 

“You were supposed to run!” He cried. “You were supposed to get away from all this so you could be safe, and he wouldn’t find you and,” 

“And what?” She bit back. “and you could shut yourself off and pretend none of this was happening? What about your family?” 

“Alexis doesn’t need me anymore,” he barked, “she’s living at Columbia, and my mother is perfectly capable of taking care of her own life!” 

“Can you ever hear yourself?” Kate berated. “They love you, they’re not going anywhere,” Castle plowed on. 

“No, Kate, the only one stupid enough to stick around, is you!” He hollered. 

Oh. 

Bastard. He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew her inside and out and after four years, he knew exactly how to hurt her. He knew her biggest fear about their relationship was that once they slept together, he’d kick her to the curb, and she’d stand there and wait like a love-struck idiot. He knew it, and he was actually daring to use it to get her to abandon him because he didn’t think he was worth it.

“You son of a bitch.” She whispered. 

“I’m sure that’s what my father thinksomph.” He tried to bite back, but suddenly Castle found himself pushed onto the bed, the air knocked out of his lungs. 

When he gathered himself enough to look up, he found Kate’s eyes blazing in a storm of hatred and lust from the end of the bed. 

“Kate?”   
“Shut up,” She growled, “you maddening, challenging, frustrating, man.” Castle kept his composure, but his eyes widened and Kate reveled in the fact that she finally had his attention. He was going to be an asshole? Fine. She could play. She was wrong earlier, when she thought about feeling dead to the world. There was one thing that made her feel alive after her mother died; one thing that gave her a fleeting connection to an untrustworthy world. 

Keeping her eyes locked on her partner’s, Kate crawled up the bed and pinned her hands on either side of Castle’s head. She dipped her neck so their lips barely brushed, her hair falling in a protective curtain around them. 

“Kate, don’t,” he whispered. “you don’t want this.” 

“You don’t get to decide what I want.” She replied. With every word, she let her lips just touch against his and she smiled when she felt him responding beneath her. 

“I’m damaged, Kate, please, don’t start this when I won’t be able to stop.” He pleaded. “I can’t do this to you.” 

“Can’t do what, Rick?” She asked softly. “Love me?” She kissed him fully, passionately, letting her lips sink down and melt into his, her blood soaring when he hummed against her mouth. “Trust me?” She kissed him again, shorter and sweeter this time as she lifted one hand to brush across his forehead. 

“Poison you…” He barely said the words, but she felt them; she got it. He wanted her to run. He wanted her gone so he didn’t ‘poison’ her the way he already ‘poisoned’ Alexis, the way Martha already ‘poisoned’ him. 

Kate slid her hand down to cup his cheek and gently caressed him as she looked into his eyes. 

“You can’t poison me, Castle.” She promised. “You have nothing to poison me with.” 

She lowered her lips to his once more and finally his own emotions and desperation gave way. He kissed her back with a fervor that made her head spin and his hands reached around to clutch at her dress shirt and crush her down to him. 

“Love me, Castle” She pleaded. He had to try. He had to try to give her everything she wanted, needed, if she wouldn’t run away. He had to try to remember that if she wanted him, maybe there was something good still inside him. 

He pushed her up to sit straddling him and he set his fingers to work on the buttons of her blouse. He took his time, deftly undoing one button after the other as if it were their first time – as if he was in awe that she was letting him do this. Kate ran her fingers through his hair and watched as he reverently unwrapped her. His eyes stilled at the pop of each button, seeking hers as if seeking permission to continue.   
With the last button undone, Castle ran his hands slowly up the smooth, uncovered skin of her sides and gently under the sleeves. Kate shivered as he pushed her shirt down leaving her scar exposed and vulnerable. 

Just like there first time, Castle pulled her chest to his mouth and kissed the puckered skin, silently thanking whatever powers that she was alive, that she was trusting him with her body. Smiling at his stunned expression, Kate reached behind and unclasped her bra, removing it and tossing it somewhere they’d find it in the morning. 

She gasped as his mouth immediately wandered from her scar to her breast, desperately kissing, licking, sucking against her flesh as if convinced she was about to disappear. 

“Castle.” She sighed. His name on her lips spurred him on and he reached his hand up to cup her other breast, tweaking and playing with her nipple until he drove her to need more. 

Kate pushed up off of him and ripped his tee-shirt off without much ceremony. He needed to show her he was sorry, she needed to show him she wasn’t going anywhere. She needed him. 

He groaned at the feel of her hands running eagerly up and down his chest and he reached up to pull her lips down to his. Their kisses soared as they basked in the feeling of their naked chests pressed up against each other, their lips searing, their tongues battling. With a quick flip, Castle turned them and sped his hands towards the button of her pants. The snap sounded throughout the quiet bedroom and Kate moaned as he slowly slid her zipper down, pressing it hard against her center as he went. He could feel her heat through her thin slacks, and suddenly nothing else mattered. Kate was here. Katherine Beckett was in his bed, loving him, ready for him, needing him, and nothing else could possibly be more important to his life. 

The time for slow was long gone. 

Castle pulled Kate’s slacks down her legs with a growl and kissed his way back up her legs. Her back arched violently as he teased her with lips through the fabric of her underwear, his hands busy with ridding himself of his pants. He kicked his jeans to the floor and slid his hands along her thighs, squeezing her as she bucked against his mouth. 

“Rick, please.” She panted. 

Knowing what she wanted, he ripped through her ruined panties and Kate nearly screamed as he latched his lips onto her clit, sucking against the pulsing nub as one hand glided his fingers across her dripping center. 

“Oh god, dammit, Castle, need, you.” She cried. 

Even he couldn’t take the teasing this time.   
Ignoring that she usually liked to remove his boxers, Castle haphazardly rid himself of his last piece of clothing and settled himself into the cradle of Kate’s hips. 

Their eyes locked as he slowly slid into her, the gravity of the situation compiling with the nearly unbearable sensation of completeness they only felt with each other. 

“I love you.” Kate whispered. 

Too far gone to reply, Castle kissed her soundly and began to rock his hips against hers. Their eyes stayed glued to the other’s the entire time, both drowning in their need for understanding, and when they both flew over the edge together, both reveled in the sharp cry of their name on the other’s lips. 

Hours later, when Kate finally fell asleep, Castle slid quietly out of bed with a soft kiss to her forehead. 

“I love you too.” He whispered as he closed the bedroom door behind him.


	10. Chapter 10

Poisoned Apples Chapter 10:

Disclaimer: Still didn't get them as a present. :((

***********************

Sunlight streamed through the richly colored curtains to fall gently on the bare back of the sleeping woman in Richard Castle’s bed. She stretched languidly, not quite bringing herself into the land of the living. In the peaceful silence of the early morning, Kate Beckett found bliss. Her body relaxed further into the thousand-thread-count sheets, a small smile graced her face, and she relished in the comfort of her boyfriend’s smell coming from his vacant pillow. 

Wait, vacant? 

Kate shot up to sitting, the sheets falling from her body as she frantically took in the room. Peaceful to the eye, but she knew something was wrong. The events of the past 48 hours came rocketing back into her mind. The case, the fight, the hospital, last night…

“Castle, no!” She whispered to herself. 

Kate jumped out of bed, half-heartedly holding the sheet up to cover her body even though her modesty was not high on her priorities at the moment. 

“Rick!” She shouted, hoping he was just in the bathroom or brooding again in his office. The responding silence of the house stung Kate and she hastily threw on her clothes from yesterday, tripping over her lover’s discarded sweats in the process. 

“Dammit.” Kate swore under her breath as she caught herself on the dresser. 

She rushed into the living room, slipping slightly on the cold hardwood in her early-morning disorientation. 

“Castle!” Her eyes darted around the empty room, searching for any clue as to where he went. “Castle, come on.” 

The loft taunted her, soft creaking from neighboring apartments, early morning traffic, all conspiring to send her launching herself across the room towards the faintest sound. But no. She couldn’t think like that. Even after the other day, she needed to keep her hopes up that he wouldn’t run off into the oblivion of stupidity because the alternative was too terrifying, it hurt too much. No, she would find him somewhere in the loft. Passed out from alcohol in the guest bedroom, sleepwalked into the kitchen, or staring off into space on the roof, she was going to find him. 

“Castle!” She tried again, her feet taking her upstairs. “Castle, answer me!” 

Rounding the corner, she noticed Alexis’ door was cracked open and sighed as relief flooded her body. Alexis always slept with her door completely closed and the only person who ever left it open was her father. Kate stepped quietly, avoiding the habitually creaky spots on the floor and gently pushed the door open to peer inside. Her heart broke at the sight that greeted her. 

Almost statuesque, Castle sat in the shadows, his gaze fixed, unwavering on Alexis’ softly sleeping form. The air was still between the two, Castle’s only movement in the small, rhythmic twitching of his fingers every Alexis took a breath. As her ribs expanded and collapsed, her father held his breath, releasing as she did, taking comfort in the basic knowledge that his child was alive. 

Kate sighed as she fully took him in. The deep bags under his eyes told her he’d never really fallen asleep with her last night, and he hadn’t bothered to put on a shirt with his sweatpants – a subconscious move of modesty he always performed when entering his daughter’s room. He looked like he simply zombie-walked his way to her room; drawn by what Kate prayed was a desire to see a pure and beautiful result of his bloodline. 

“Rick.” She whispered with a gentle hand on his shoulder. To her surprise, he didn’t jump at all. When he didn’t turn to acknowledge her approaching, she assumed he was too lost in thought to notice, but of course he had. He would always notice her presence. 

“I used to do this all the time.” He murmured. “When she was little, Meredith had just left us, and I would try to go to bed, but I needed to know she was okay. So I’d come and sit and just watch her sleep.” 

“Well it’s nice to know the staring issue is chronic.” Beckett quipped lovingly. She beamed when the ghost of a smile graced his face. Her hand slid down to his and she gently tugged on his arm, urging him out of the chair so they could talk and not wake the sleeping teen. 

“She caught me doing it again once when she was older and said it was creepy.” He remembered as they walked down stairs and settled on the couch.

“She was right.” Kate replied. 

A calmer silence set over the room and Kate kept her hand resting in Castle’s. Usually, if she needed to talk, the best way was to sit while she thought about a million things and hope that a couple spilled out. Castle was a master of doing it to her; perhaps it would work on him as well. 

“Do you think it matters?” He finally whispered. 

“Does what matter?” She asked, somewhat knowingly.

“Who he was.” Castle said. “What he did?” 

“No.” Kate responded earnestly. “I told you last night, Rick, you’re not him. You will never be defined by him and I will never love you any less for his actions.” She paused. “But I think the more important question is, does it matter to you?” 

“How could it not, Kate?” He sighed dejectedly. 

“That’s not what I meant, Castle.” She quickly amended. “I know it does, of course it matters, I just…I don’t want you to think that this changes who you are.” 

“I’m scared, Kate.” He admitted. “I’m scared that there’s a part of him inside me that I won’t be able to control…I hurt you…I know it was an accident, but I did it and I can’t stop being terrified I’ll do it again…or worse.” 

“Castle, it was an accident.” She insisted. “I’m not going to lie, I was scared too, and you might make more mistakes, scratch that, you definitely will, but you are not a cold-blooded killer. You know that right?” 

His lack of response chilled her to the core. 

“I think about it all the time, Kate.” She blanched. “Every murder I write, every time I put myself inside the killer’s head, a part of it gets easier and easier and it scares me. I…I can’t.” He moved to stand, but Kate pulled him back to the couch. Instead of fighting her like she expected though, her efforts sent him over the edge and he fell into her shoulder, trying in vain to hide the fresh flood of tears. 

“I can’t, Kate.” He cried. “I can’t do this.” 

She felt her own eyes brimming as she held him, her fingers clutching into his back, trying so hard to reassure him that she wasn’t going to run this time. 

“He’s targeting.” He heaved. “He’s going after anyone related to him and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to my mother, to Alexis…I can’t protect them from someone I don’t know, Kate.” 

“We’ll, find him, Castle, I promise.” She insisted into his rumpled hair. “We’ll find him before he hurts anyone else.” 

“You can’t promise that.” 

“Yes,” She replied determinedly, “I can.”


	11. Chapter 11

Poisoned Apples Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Castle of any of its characters. 

A/N: I have no idea if anyone is still reading this story, but I am keeping to my promise to finish it! I promise if I give it up for good, I will post. I just couldn’t decide where to go from where I left off and I needed to address a couple issues, but the writing bug is back, so if you’re still with me, I hope you enjoy! <3 

Previously:

“He’s targeting.” He heaved. “He’s going after anyone related to him and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to my mother, to Alexis...I can’t protect them from someone I don’t know, Kate.” 

“We’ll find him, Castle, I promise.” she insisted into his rumpled hair, “We’ll find him before he hurts anyone else.”

“You can’t promise that.” 

“Yes,” she replied determinedly, “I can.” 

\------------

Chapter 11:

He had her baby. He took her baby boy and she didn’t know what else to do except keep running. The gravelly alleyway bit into the soles of her feet, leaving a tiny blood trail on her way to her son. She’d forgotten to change - her costumer was going to rip her head off, but none of that mattered now. Her heart thumped wildly to the pace of her quickening feet and the rattle of the fences and garbage cans as she sprinted. 

The alley ended in a sharp turn and she threw herself around the corner, praying she hadn’t lost them. Instead, the force of her body slammed her into the solid figure in front of her with a small bundle cradled in his arms. 

She reached out for her child in tears, and with a grin, the man handed over the bundle before disappearing into the night. In the second after she stopped thanking God, she noticed her baby wasn’t crying. He wasn’t being the restless little boy she’d come to love. Her heart lurched as she gently unwrapped Richard’s blanket. A cold, blood-covered infant’s eyes stared back at her. 

“RICHARD!” 

Martha shot up in bed, screaming for her son. 

Sweat drenched her pale skin. 

The nightmares hadn’t returned in nearly 40 years, and yet it seemed like only yesterday she spent every waking and sleeping moment terrified for her only child’s survival. 

Sighing in relief, she let her mind drift back to their argument the previous day. He hated her for keeping this secret from him, she knew that, but even so, she couldn’t bring herself to regret her decision. Her wild son spent enough time throwing himself in the face of death with the 12th Precinct, why on earth would she want to put him in even further danger? She understood his anger, though. Ever since he first figured out that he was missing a father, Castle’d been adamant about asking her questions. All throughout his life, he’d been plagued by the one mystery he couldn’t solve, all the while not knowing that the answer stood right before him in her memory. She had to lie. When he was old enough, she told him it was a one-night-stand and she couldn’t remember his father’s name. He wasn’t happy, and as a teenager, perhaps even a little disgusted, but at least he was safe. 

As she reached up to wipe the sleep from her eyes, Martha felt the few tears that had broken free and cast them away. There would be time for tears when the danger was gone and her son and granddaughter were safe again. 

Steeling her look of resolve, she threw the covers back and moved to get dressed when suddenly, her door slammed open, revealing her terrified son and his equally pale girlfriend. 

“Mother!” 

“Richard, what on earth?” 

“We heard you screaming,” Kate mollified, “thought it might be...” 

She let her thought trail off. They all knew what she meant. The fear of the killer heading after the Rogers-Castle family hung heavily in every room of the loft. 

“Just a bad dream, darlings,” Martha reassured, “I’m fine.” 

“Are you sure?” asked Castle. Now that the threat of danger was gone, the slight anger returned to his voice and Martha winced at his tone. 

“Yes, dear.” she held herself together, “I’m sure.” 

The tension lay strong between them and Kate was about to excuse herself from the room to give them a moment alone, when everything started spinning. Kate raised a hand to her head, begging the nauseating sensation to stop, but everything just kept getting blurrier. 

“Castle...” she whispered. 

He broke from the staring contest with his mother just as Kate fell slightly, stopping herself on the door handle. 

“Kate!” he jumped forward to catch her. “Kate, what’s wrong?” he asked frantically. 

“I don’t think I...” her voiced trailed off again as her fingers clutched against the door and his arm. 

“Oh, Katherine.” Martha moved to support her other side. “We have to get her to the hospital, Richard.” 

Castle remained in semi-shock as Kate began to pass out in front of him for the second time in 48 hours. 

“Rick...” her voice brought him back, the urgency flooding his normally calm blue eyes. “Rick...head...” 

“Just hang on, Kate, you’re going to be okay.” 

\---------

“So you’re telling me not only is this dude Castle’s dad, but he’s only killing people he’s related to?” asked Esposito in disbelief, “That is some seriously messed up shit.” 

“I wish I had something different to tell you guys, but I’ve run the test twice and I’m positive.”   
Lanie sighed. 

“How’d they take it?” asked Ryan, still processing the information. 

“About as well as expected, I suppose.” Lanie replied, “Little Castle took it better than big Castle, that’s for sure. I was impressed.” 

“Did you see Beckett?” Ryan asked.

“No, I though she was with you guys at the hospital.” Lanie replied. 

“We got her discharged right after you left. She didn’t want to stay over night and she told the doc she was fine and that she had people to look after her at home.” 

“And he just let her go?” Lanie asked in shock. 

“Yeah, he cleared her fair and square.” Ryan answered unsure, “At least that’s what Beckett said when we came back from filling out the paperwork.”   
“Son of a bitch.” Lanie swore. The boys looked at her in confusion. “What, you think you’re the only ones who can check into medial records? I asked about her condition before I went to Castle’s. She has a serious concussion and she was bleeding from the back of her head, she shouldn’t have gone home.” 

“What?” Ryan asked fearfully, “But they never would’ve released her if she needed to be there, I mean they’re not -” 

“Stupid?” Lanie interjected. “Did you see that ER room? It was more packed than New Years Eve, they wouldn’t have cared if she ran out with her spleen dangling from her side!” 

“Dammit.” Esposito swore under his breath. 

“I’m going to the loft, someone needs to check on her, and I doubt she told Castle how serious her injury was.” Lanie rattled off while throwing on her jacket. “You comin’?” 

“No, we’ll head back to work.” Ryan decided, “Least we can do is keep going after letting her down.” 

“Hey, I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Lanie smiled, “I just need to go kick her ass for being so damn stubborn and duct tape her to her bed.” 

“Take care of her, Lanie.” Esposito asked solemnly. 

“I will, don’t you worry. You find her a lead.” 

\-----------

“Help us! Someone please, help!” Castle yelled as he ran the all-too-familiar hallway of the emergency room, Kate cradled in his arms. There hadn’t been time to wait for an ambulance. They’d tried to sit her down while they called, but she’d immediately passed out and despite the fact that he knew he shouldn’t move her, his panic mode kicked in and he broke every speed limit between the loft and the hospital. 

“What happened, sir?” And orderly ran to meet them. 

“It’s my girlfriend,” he panted, “she hit her head the other day and she passed out this afternoon.” 

“Alright, sir, we’ll take it from here.” He tried to calm Castle down. “I need you to sit over there while we take her into an exam room, can you do that?” 

Castle wanted to punch the clearly-new nurse for his condescending tone, but one look down at Kate tempered that desire and he reluctantly let her go while he shuffled his way to the waiting room chairs. The same one he’d occupied only a day ago was open again and he sat in it, silently wondering if the walls knew how guilty he felt. 

What seemed like hours passed, but only 45 minutes later, Castle was brought back from his thoughts by the sight of two slightly frantic red-heads running in his direction.   
“Dad!” Alexis exclaimed when she saw him, as she threw herself into a hug. 

“Mother? Alexis? I thought I told you to stay at the loft, it’s not safe right now.” Castle panicked. 

“Don’t be mad at her,” Alexis quickly intervened at the look Castle was shooting Martha, “I was the one who refused to stay home.” 

“Alexis,” 

“We couldn’t just stay there, dad, you know that.” Alexis pushed. 

Castle held back the retort on his tongue. Would he like it better if they were at the loft? Probably, but truth be told, they might be safer in a hospital. At least his dad only committed the murders in apartments thus far... 

“Rick!” 

Castle turned around at his name, somewhat guilty and dismayed to see Jim Beckett sprinting down the hall, coffee stains on his shirt from spilling when he heard the news. 

“Jim.” Rick sighed. 

“Where is she? Where’s Katie?” Jim plead. 

Castle looked helplessly from his mother to his daughter before realizing they didn’t know the full story of Kate’s injury - they didn’t know why he couldn’t bear to look Jim Beckett in the face. 

“They took her in about an hour ago,” Castle said softly, “she had a concussion.” 

“Had? What happened?” Jim pressed. 

“She hit her head hard the other day,” Castle continued carefully, “she came home last night, but I guess it was too soon.” 

“Oh, God, that explains the missed phone calls this morning.” Jim realized, “I should’ve been there.” 

“It’s alright, Jim, she’ll be okay.” Martha pulled him into a hug sending a questioning look at her son about his unnaturally shy demeanor towards Kate’s father. 

The four waited in silence for the next 30 minutes. No one wanted to speak. Jim was too scared, and left to their thoughts, the Castle family was consumed with the events of the past couple days. 

Finally, a doctor appeared. 

“Family of Katherine Beckett?” 

Jim stood up immediately, “I’m her father.” 

The doctor nodded and the group moved closer to hear. 

“Ms. Beckett suffered a serious concussion and she needs to stay the night. From her previous records, it says that she was admitted yesterday, but checked out. I don’t know who allowed that, but it was extremely dangerous.” 

“Will she be alright?” Castle asked anxiously. 

“She should make a full recovery, but for now, she’s under constant supervision. I don’t know what she got up to last night, but she shouldn’t have slept and she definitely shouldn’t have been moving around a lot.”   
Castle’s heart sank.

“Nevertheless,” the doctor continued, “she doesn’t seem to have suffered any serious brain damage, so as long as she remains here for the next few days, she should be good to go.” 

“Days?” Castle asked despairingly. He wanted her safe, but the selfish part of him knew that he needed her to get through this case. 

“I’m sorry, but it’s a necessary precaution.” the doctor replied, “I’ll have a nurse look into why she was discharged before. It shouldn’t have happened, and I apologize.” 

Anger flashed across all four faces, but there would be time for that. 

“Can we see her?” asked Jim. 

“Yes, but only one at a time. She’s being kept awake at the moment, but she’s still sensitive and I don’t want any startling noises or movements.” 

Jim left the group to tend to his daughter as Alexis moved to the front desk to ask about Kate’s prior treatment, leaving mother and son alone once more.

\-------------

“Anything?” Ryan asked somewhat hopelessly across to his partner. 

“Nada.” Esposito replied equally disappointed. 

They’d been at this for hours, but despite being related, there didn’t seem to be any other connection between the victims. They lived in different parts of town, worked in different circles, attended different schools. They had no idea how Castle’s father was finding out who they were, let alone where they were. 

“Let me see the file on the first vic again?” 

Ryan tossed Esposito Reed’s case file, doubting he’d find anything new, but hoping just the same. 

At the same time, an elevator opened and a young detective burst out, eager deliver his find. 

“Ryan, Esposito!” the two detectives turned, “I have the email print outs you wanted from Thomas Dalton.”

They jumped up at the possibility of a new lead. 

“Thanks, Tobins, let us know when you have the rest of the victims.” Ryan thanked him. 

“What do we have?” Esposito asked as he spread out the email sheets. 

“Bills, work stuff, spam,” Ryan sighed, “we have nothing.” 

“Hey, what about this?” 

Ryan shifted over to where his partner was holding a short page of an email thread. 

“Seems personal,” Esposito theorized, “the headings aren’t formal and he doesn’t seem to want to give out a whole lot of information until they meet...they were supposed to meet last weekend.” 

“But Thomas was dead by then.” Ryan pointed out. 

“But she didn’t know that.” Esposito argued, “Maybe this...Zoe Sheilds knew what Thomas was up to before he died.” 

“Well, it’s a stronger lead than anything else we have, let’s go.” 

The two detectives grabbed their coats and set out to Zoe Sheild’s address.


	12. Chapter 12

Poisoned Apples Chapter 12

 

Disclaimer: Still not mine! But I’m going to watch them film tomorrow, so yay!!!!! 

 

A/N: Thank you guys so much for still sticking around for this story! I know it sucks balls when an author doesn’t update, so I’m really honored and grateful that I’m still getting a positive response and that you guys want to see more! I’m definitely going to see this story through to the end, it just might take a lot of chapters since I accidentally created a billion plot lines and I want to make sure everything is touched upon. I hope you enjoy! <3 

 

—-

 

Previously: 

 

_“But Thomas was dead by then.” Ryan pointed out._

 

_“But she didn’t know that.” Esposito argued, “Maybe this...Zoe Shields knew what Thomas was up to before he died.”_

 

_“Well, it’s a stronger lead than anything else we have, let’s go.”_

_The two detectives grabbed their coats and set out to Zoe Shield’s address._

 

_\-------_

 

He was going to set the wall paper on fire.Every last little cheerful flower was going up in flames.He was pretty sure he could do it with his eyes if he tried hard enough. At the very least, it’d be a better activity than staring at the wall with no ulterior motive as he’d been doing for the past five hours.  

 

“Sir.” 

 

Someone was talking to him, but they didn’t matter.No one could stop his laser-fire powers now. That wall paper was going down. 

 

“Excuse me, sir.” 

 

This time the annoying intrusion was accompanied by a gentle hand on his shoulder, so he indulged and broke his face off with the taunting floral patterns. 

 

The nurse on duty looked at him with poorly-masked pity, but understandably so.The man before her sat slumped in wrinkled clothes, disheveled hair, and sunken, red eyes.  

 

“Visiting hours will be over soon, so if you’re here to see someone, I suggest you go now.” 

 

Her words were not unkind, but they stung Castle just the same. How long had he been sitting here, staring into space, while Kate sat alone in her hospital room? Suddenly he felt just as guilty as when they brought her in at the beginning of the day. Maybe he should just go home. Even after all her reassurance, there was no way she’d want to see him. Even if she’d truly forgiven him for the concussion, he’d basically abandoned her for the better part of the day because of his own cowardice. Jim, Lanie, the boys, Alexis, and Martha had all been in to check on her and bring her small tokens of love, but Richard Castle, the man who claimed to love her, had sat his ass in the waiting room.  

 

“Um,” he stuttered, “I think I’ll just, uh, head out.” Castle reached around gingerly to grab his coat.

 

“Alright then, sir,” the nurse nodded, “have a good night.” 

 

Each of the nurses steps as she walked away echoed in his head, leading him further and further away from doing what he knew he needed to. 

 

“Excuse me.” Castle managed. 

 

The nurse politely turned around and Castle swore he saw a glint of triumph in her eyes. 

 

“There’s a patient here,” Castle spoke slowly, “Katherine Beckett.” The nurse nodded waiting for him to continue.His next words seemed to take his entire body of energy and will. “Can you see if she’s still seeing people?” 

 

“Of course, sir.” she replied with a smile, “right away.” 

 

—-

 

Ryan and Esposito jumped out of their car and practically ran up the steps of the upper west side brownstone apartment.This case came with its own amount of extra pressure, but with Kate out of commission for the time being, they were desperate for this lead to go somewhere.Reaching the intercom, Esposito pressed the button for Zoe Shields’ apartment. 

 

“Hello?”   


“Ms. Shields, NYPD, we’d like to ask you a few questions about a Thomas Dalton.” 

 

“Um, okay?” she replied, “Just give me a sec.” 

 

The buzzer sounded and the detectives made their way up to apartment 3B. 

 

___

 

Castle stood hesitatingly outside room 305.He hated himself for how he felt.The nurse told him Kate wanted to see him, so why was he still standing there like an idiot? 

 

_“Because you don’t deserve her.”_ Deep breath. 

 

_“Because even if she forgives you, you’re never going to forgive yourself.”_ Deep breath.

 

_“Because you still want to run away from all this.”_ Fuck it. 

 

His soft knocks against the door rang like thunder in his ears so loudly that he almost didn’t hear Kate’s soft ‘come in.’ 

 

No turning back now. 

 

Castle pushed the door open and stepped inside, almost not letting himself look up at his girlfriend, but deciding that was ridiculous.  

“Hey.” Kate whispered. 

 

“Hey.” he replied. 

 

The silence felt tense and awkward to him, but Kate’s smile told him otherwise and he took it as an invitation to move next to her.  

 

Kate almost laughed as he moved the chair to sit by her side. His delicate care to not scrape the chair across the floor or make any loud noises would’ve been hilarious under other circumstances. 

 

“I’m glad you’re here.” said Kate. 

 

Castle looked up, not expecting her words.  

 

“Really?” he asked. “You’re not mad?” 

 

“Castle, how many times do I have to tell you before you’re convinced?” 

 

“Well…” 

 

“Don’t answer that.” she cut him off, but immediately regretted her choice of words at the ashamed sag in his expression.  

 

“Rick, look at me.” 

 

Every muscle in his body said no, but his instincts followed Kate wherever they led, and so he obeyed.  

 

“I should’ve come earlier.” he forced out. “I should’ve been here for you.” 

 

“I was wondering if you’d come,” Kate admitted, “I thought I’d be mad, but honestly I’m just so relieved you didn’t run away.” 

 

Kate almost didn’t believe those words left her mouth. They never had honest conversations like this about their relationship. Ever.  

 

Castle seemed to be processing her response instead of looking defeated and she took it as a sign that maybe this latest trip to the hospital was the push he needed to really start talking to her about everything that was going on. 

 

She turned away to let him think in peace and was shocked when she felt his hand gently take hers; his fingers slipping in-between her own in loving reassurance.The gesture was so small, but Kate felt herself tearing at his touch.She thought he might never reach out to her ever again. 

 

“I thought about it,” Castle whispered, “I thought about how easy it would be to just leave.Everyone was going in to see you and looking out for each other and I just wondered for a moment what would happen if I got up and walked out.”   


Kate laced her fingers tighter, squeezing his hand and drawing circles with her thumb. 

 

“Jesus, Kate, I know I sound like a broken record, but I don’t think I can do this, and with every damn second, I feel less and less sure and I don’t know what to do.I don’t know what to do.” 

 

Tears escaped both their eyes in a frustrated release. 

 

“I don’t know what to say to make this better, Rick.” Kate cried, “I don’t know how to make you see that none of this is your fault, I don’t know how to tell you how scared I am, I don’t know how to fix this one.” 

 

“Kate,” 

 

“No, Rick, shh, just listen,” she pleaded, “I’ve been thinking about this all day, and you know what, you’re right, I probably should be furious, and I guess maybe a small part of me is, but whenever I was alone today, all I could think about was the night we got together.That feeling, of everything falling out from under me and not knowing if I was going to make it through the next three seconds let alone the next three days.Nothing made sense then, and I know nothing makes sense now, but you battled for me then. You yelled and screamed and pushed and it saved my life and I guess what I’m trying to say is that I need you, Rick.I need you to let me push you now because I can’t do this alone, and I know you definitely can’t do this alone and I just wish that,” 

 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. 

  
“Castle?” 

 

“I’m so, so sorry, Kate,” he whimpered, “for everything. Everything.” 

 

“I need you to promise me you won’t run away again.” she insisted, “I know that sounds stupid coming from me, but please promise me.” 

 

“I promise.” he spurted unconvincingly.He took a deep breath at the look in her eyes and forced himself to find the tiny little part of him that actually believed those words. 

 

“I promise.”  

 

And he did. He really did. 

 

——

 

“Thank you for seeing us, Ms. Shields.” said Ryan as they sat down. 

 

“It’s no problem, but I’m not sure what I can tell you,” Zoe replied, “I didn’t know very much about him.  

 

Ryan and Esposito took in her appearance. Zoe was a tall brunette with striking blue eyes that eerily reminded them of someone. 

 

“Can I ask what this is about?” she asked. 

 

“Thomas Dalton was murdered just before he planned to meet with you.” Esposito revealed, slipping back into interview mode. 

 

“Oh my God, that’s terrible. I had no idea.” 

 

“Do you have any idea what he wanted to meet with you about?” Ryan asked. 

 

“Um, I’m really not entirely sure,” said Zoe, “when he first contacted me, he said he was working on a genealogy project. I told him I had no idea who he was, but he seemed to think I could help him.” 

 

At the mention of genealogy, Ryan glanced over at his partner and saw they were thinking the exact same thing.Zoe’s features reminded them a little of Castle. Maybe Thomas contacted Zoe because he figured out they were related some how? 

 

“Really, a genealogy project?” Ryan asked, “did he say why?” 

 

“No, but I just assumed he was curious.I went through the ancestry.com phase myself, not know who my dad was and all.” said Zoe, “I think that’s why I agreed to meet him. He didn’t know his dad either and he wanted to try to find out more about his family.I understood.” 

 

Ryan and Esposito were practically vibrating with excitement.  

 

“Ms. Shields, this is going to sound strange, but would you mind coming with us and letting one of our forensics team take a DNA sample?” Esposito asked. 

 

“DNA?” Zoe panicked, “But I didn’t do anything!” 

 

“No, no!” Ryan stepped in, “don’t worry, you didn’t do anything wrong, but Thomas’s family tree is turning out to be an integral part of his case and it would really help us if we could find out if you two were indeed related.” 

 

Zoe seemed to ponder the idea for a moment, but eventually, the sincere determination in the detectives’ looks persuaded her to grab her coat.  

 

——

 

“Martha told me you two finally talked a little.”  

 

Kate’s voice bounced gently in the new peaceful bubble they’d created.Amidst talking, Castle’d moved up onto the bed behind her and she now sat cradled in his arms, his soothing touch simultaneously lulling her to sleep and keeping her awake per the doctor’s orders.The wall clock on the other side of the room was too dark to read, but she guessed it was about one or two am.The halls were quiet and it’d been quite a while since the nurse came in to make sure she wasn’t sleeping and discovered Castle still there past visiting hours.She’d simply shrugged and told them as long as Castle kept her awake, he could stay.Kate owed her big time, she needed Castle over night. 

 

“Yeah, a little.” he sighed. 

 

“How’d it go?” she asked. 

 

“It went.” he replied. 

 

“Castle,” she prodded softly.

 

“Sorry, I know we said no holding back tonight.” Castle paused. “We’re better,” 

 

“But…” Kate encouraged. 

 

“But there’s still a lot to work through.” 

 

Kate wasn’t sure what to say after that and it was clear their conversation went pretty much as she expected, so she decided to drop the subject for now.They’d clearly passed the apology stage, and now it was a matter of time and remaining open - something she didn’t have very much experience with in terms of a parent.All things considered, Castle did much better than she did when her dad started drinking. 

 

She snuggled back into his chest, enjoying the warmth and his relaxation in her presence when an unwelcome buzz from her bedside table interrupted her moment.  

 

“It’s Ryan.” said Kate as she reached over to grab her phone. 

 

“You think they found something?” Castle asked, half hoping, half dreading. 

 

“I don’t know.” she answered the phone, “Beckett.”

 

_“Hey, Beckett, how’s it going in sleep lockup?”_

 

“Funny, Ryan,” she smirked, “What’s going on?” 

 

_“Email and phone records came back from the victims and we found an odd sock, so we went to follow though,”_

 

“And?” Beckett asked eagerly. 

 

_“Well, it’s not confirmed yet, we’re still waiting for Lanie to finish the DNA results,”_ Ryan replied, _“but we may have found one of Castle’s half-sisters…alive.”_

 

 

 


End file.
